I got up late this morning and missed my 11:00 appointment with the psychiatrist. I don't know why I was so tired. Maybe it was because I stayed up reading a poetry book after I got home from work. I had to reschedule and now I have to go tomorrow even earlier- 9:00. I'm going to have a hell of a time getting up for that.
I talked to my other doctor on the phone and he still doesn't know what is causing my anemia. I have to go for more blood tests in September, after which he will decide whether or not to change some of my meds. He says that one of them is know to have a side effect where it does something to the bone marrow which causes blood to not be generated correctly. I wish I knew and could get this solved and behind me. Besides the health worry, I have already to spend about $1,200 out of pocket so far on this beyond what my insurance didn't pay. That really puts a squeeze on me.
I'm not a dumb guy. I am college educated and am a constant reader. But I have to admit that there is some poetry I just don't get. I will read poems by someone who is considered to be pretty damned good, and I just won't understand. What they write doesn't make sense to me. I don't think it's me. I think that they write too abstractly or are making really bizarre or off the wall references and connections, and I just don't get where they are coming from. It makes me feel stupid in a way, and I don't like that feeling.
Now, I could fake it and write like that, but I would be hard pressed to explain what I meant by what I wrote if I was asked, and at some point I would be asked. I just couldn't do that. I guess I am relegated to writing poems that anyone could pick up and read and understand without any explaination or preface given. And I'm actually happy with writing that way. In fact, I prefer it that way.