The time can twist a knot in the stomach
as the tiny machine makes it silent movements.
Since the beginning of beginnings it has been so:
Hands climb, then fall down the face only to start
up again when it is over, will continue until the universe
collapses upon itself as it will one day do. And what time
and gravity accomplish together no man can reverse-
it is too great a power union to overcome. Coyne said
that the universe will have its way, but perhaps time will have
its way, will have the last and final word. Eventually the lowly
and simple sun dial will cease to work, will cease to accept
the shadows before the sun. The finality of it will be deafening
in its silence and its magnitude. Perhaps the heavens
themselves will pour forth like a sea and bleed light
when that final moment arrives and the hands stop their
eternal travel.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
The weather has turned cool here. I knew the heat wouldn't last long. It has not started raining yet, but it is supposed to very soon. I'm glad I got up and got the lawn cut this morning.
Today is the last day of the poom a day challenge, and I am glad that I have stuck with it. I have gotten a few keepers out of it. Hopefully the flow of creative juices will contiinue after this is over.
I have started re-reading Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf. It is such a darkly funny play. I'd love to see the movie version again. It's been a very long time.
I can't believe it is May already. Time flies. In a week and a half I will be turning 51. Luckily, I don't feel nearly that old. Well, most of the time, anyway.
There is not much else for me to say today, so I guess I'll go off and read some blogs...
Today is the last day of the poom a day challenge, and I am glad that I have stuck with it. I have gotten a few keepers out of it. Hopefully the flow of creative juices will contiinue after this is over.
I have started re-reading Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf. It is such a darkly funny play. I'd love to see the movie version again. It's been a very long time.
I can't believe it is May already. Time flies. In a week and a half I will be turning 51. Luckily, I don't feel nearly that old. Well, most of the time, anyway.
There is not much else for me to say today, so I guess I'll go off and read some blogs...
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
These Hands
I look at these old hands of mine
and I see the tools they have held
and worked with, the faces they
have caressed, the food and the glasses
of liquor they have raised to my
lips. I see the thousands of hours
they have spent wrapped around
a steering wheel or a pair of drum sticks,
the thousands of times they have worked
a bar of soap over my body or worked
shampoo through a dozen different hair
styles I have worn. I see the guitar strings
my fingers have plucked and strummed,
the hooks I have baited, the lotions I
have rubbed in to my skin, the millions
of times they have pushed or pulled
a knob or a button of some sort.
I look at the lines in the palms and think
of how they have gripped, tightened, lifted,
screwed, unscrewed, held down, pried, twisted
clamped and held a million different objects,
the times they had to spank a naughty bottom.
I observe the wrinkles on the backs of these hands
and remember all of the time and weather they
have withstood, with and without being covered.
I stare at the nails, trimmed somewhat unevenly,
and remember how they have served at different
times as pinchers, screw drivers, tweezers
tooth picks and even as back scratchers.
I think of all the times these fingers have pointed,
signaled, probed, picked, poked, prodded,
and the few times these knuckles, turned into fists,
have punched something or someone…
I look at these old hands of mine and I see
how they have reached for the sky as time has passed
through them, slipped through my fingers like water.
There are fewer days ahead than behind now,
but these hands are ready for whatever else
may come my way.
and I see the tools they have held
and worked with, the faces they
have caressed, the food and the glasses
of liquor they have raised to my
lips. I see the thousands of hours
they have spent wrapped around
a steering wheel or a pair of drum sticks,
the thousands of times they have worked
a bar of soap over my body or worked
shampoo through a dozen different hair
styles I have worn. I see the guitar strings
my fingers have plucked and strummed,
the hooks I have baited, the lotions I
have rubbed in to my skin, the millions
of times they have pushed or pulled
a knob or a button of some sort.
I look at the lines in the palms and think
of how they have gripped, tightened, lifted,
screwed, unscrewed, held down, pried, twisted
clamped and held a million different objects,
the times they had to spank a naughty bottom.
I observe the wrinkles on the backs of these hands
and remember all of the time and weather they
have withstood, with and without being covered.
I stare at the nails, trimmed somewhat unevenly,
and remember how they have served at different
times as pinchers, screw drivers, tweezers
tooth picks and even as back scratchers.
I think of all the times these fingers have pointed,
signaled, probed, picked, poked, prodded,
and the few times these knuckles, turned into fists,
have punched something or someone…
I look at these old hands of mine and I see
how they have reached for the sky as time has passed
through them, slipped through my fingers like water.
There are fewer days ahead than behind now,
but these hands are ready for whatever else
may come my way.
Ah, Well...
I had every intention of getting up early this morning and cutting the grass, but it didn't happen. I couldn't fall asleep last night and took my sleeping pill too late- 3:00 AM- so I barely woke up in time to get ready for work this morning. Well, there is always tomorrow. I need to get it done because it is getting high and it is supposed to rain on Friday.
I want to do some fishing and some biking or hiking in the Pine Barrnes this coming weekend, but I don't know if it will happen or not. I kind of have a lot to do. I need to pay bills, clean the house, do laundry, shampoo the living room carpet, wash windows wash the car and re-caulk the bathtub enclosure. Maybe it will rain all weekend. I don't know. I haven't seen the latest forecast yet.
Speaking of forecasts, the latest shipping news indicates that it could be slow at work over the next few days. I can use a breather. It's been hectic getting the employee performance reviews completed and gone over with each of my employees. I just finished this afternoon, luckily.
Not much else is happening here today. It's a nice spring day and a man's mind turns to the mating ritual...
I want to do some fishing and some biking or hiking in the Pine Barrnes this coming weekend, but I don't know if it will happen or not. I kind of have a lot to do. I need to pay bills, clean the house, do laundry, shampoo the living room carpet, wash windows wash the car and re-caulk the bathtub enclosure. Maybe it will rain all weekend. I don't know. I haven't seen the latest forecast yet.
Speaking of forecasts, the latest shipping news indicates that it could be slow at work over the next few days. I can use a breather. It's been hectic getting the employee performance reviews completed and gone over with each of my employees. I just finished this afternoon, luckily.
Not much else is happening here today. It's a nice spring day and a man's mind turns to the mating ritual...
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Always A Rush Job
The bell rang in the hallway
nearly five minutes ago.
Dinner time is over now.
My bowl of clam chowder sits
half-full on the desk. I am scrambling.
I slurp the cream and gobble
chunks of potato and bits of clam.
Soup drips from my leaky lower lip
and splashes onto the desktop
and my brand new keyboard.
Little flecks bounce off and onto
the front of my wool sweater.
I need more time or a bigger spoon.
nearly five minutes ago.
Dinner time is over now.
My bowl of clam chowder sits
half-full on the desk. I am scrambling.
I slurp the cream and gobble
chunks of potato and bits of clam.
Soup drips from my leaky lower lip
and splashes onto the desktop
and my brand new keyboard.
Little flecks bounce off and onto
the front of my wool sweater.
I need more time or a bigger spoon.
A Little Beef
Don't you hate it when people don't do what they are supposed to do at work? I know I do. For example, all of our forklift drivers had to sign a memo a week ago acknowledging that they are to wear safety glasses at all times while operating the lifts. This is for their protection. Today I am noticing that only one of 13 drivers on our shift are wearing them. Most don't even have the glasses with them. Now I have to go around being the bad guy, making people go get them from their lockers and put them on. They will be annoyed with me, and I will be annoyed with them for making me have to be the bad guy. Why can't they just do what they know is right? Grrr.
I didn't sleep well again last night, even though I had my window closed against the mockingbird. I realized this morning that I hadn't taken my pills before bed time. I know that made a difference. I feel tired today, so hopefully I'll sleep well tonight. It's been almost a week since I felt the need to resort to the sleeping pills. I like that.
Today I got my car taken into the body shop for the repair estimate from when my mom backed into it. Tomorrow I have to get up and cut my lawn before it rains. I'm just not looking forward to it. Tomorrow I will also make my maintenance appointment for my car.
I fell a few days behind on the poem a day thing last week, but I am now officially caught up. This is thanks to writing a handful of haiku, which almost feels like cheating because they are so short. I will still try to write a few longer things tonight. I wrote one last night that is longer than usual, is not too bad, and that I will put considerable time into revising becuase I feels it's worth it in this case. I like when that happens. I won't post that one here. Too personal.
It is sounding more and more like Billy Boy will soon be moving back to Ft. Lauderdale. He is such a nomad. He has what he calls his "Bermuda Triangle" between Jersey, Florida and San Diego. I will hate to see him go. It's been really great having him at the house. Everything will seem so lonely and quiet again. I guess this means that I will be making the arrangements to take the dogs with me on vacation to Ohio in August. An eight hour drive with both of them in a compact car. I can hardly wait. Oh well, best not worry about that now. It's a long way off.
It is hot out again today. A person could get used to this, but I'm sure it won't last. I'm sure we will be back down into the 50s and 60s soon. Still, it's better than winter weather. I'm so glad that spring is here.
More later...
I didn't sleep well again last night, even though I had my window closed against the mockingbird. I realized this morning that I hadn't taken my pills before bed time. I know that made a difference. I feel tired today, so hopefully I'll sleep well tonight. It's been almost a week since I felt the need to resort to the sleeping pills. I like that.
Today I got my car taken into the body shop for the repair estimate from when my mom backed into it. Tomorrow I have to get up and cut my lawn before it rains. I'm just not looking forward to it. Tomorrow I will also make my maintenance appointment for my car.
I fell a few days behind on the poem a day thing last week, but I am now officially caught up. This is thanks to writing a handful of haiku, which almost feels like cheating because they are so short. I will still try to write a few longer things tonight. I wrote one last night that is longer than usual, is not too bad, and that I will put considerable time into revising becuase I feels it's worth it in this case. I like when that happens. I won't post that one here. Too personal.
It is sounding more and more like Billy Boy will soon be moving back to Ft. Lauderdale. He is such a nomad. He has what he calls his "Bermuda Triangle" between Jersey, Florida and San Diego. I will hate to see him go. It's been really great having him at the house. Everything will seem so lonely and quiet again. I guess this means that I will be making the arrangements to take the dogs with me on vacation to Ohio in August. An eight hour drive with both of them in a compact car. I can hardly wait. Oh well, best not worry about that now. It's a long way off.
It is hot out again today. A person could get used to this, but I'm sure it won't last. I'm sure we will be back down into the 50s and 60s soon. Still, it's better than winter weather. I'm so glad that spring is here.
More later...
Monday, April 27, 2009
The Mockingbird
A mockingbird was in the neighbor’s spruce tree
last night, and it was confused about what time
it was, because it was singing every tune it knew.
It went through its whole repertoire and then started
all over again. It was hot out, unusually so for an April
night, so I had my window open. Naturally, I couldn’t sleep
with that racket going on. So, I got out the bird book
and tried to follow along. He sang the song of the cow bird,
the cat bird, the cardinal, the cedar wax wing. He
whistled the tune of the Baltimore oriole, the turtle dove,
the mourning dove, and even the squawk of the grackle.
Then he imitated the ruby throated warbler, the barn wren,
the wood thrush. I thought I might have even heard a hoot
or two somewhere in the mix. This continued on all night,
until the sun was well up in the morning sky. Then I guess
he went to sleep, the bastard. So if I nod off a little later on,
and my eyes look bleary and bloodshot, if my nerves seem
frazzled and I inject black coffee right into my veins, well…
last night, and it was confused about what time
it was, because it was singing every tune it knew.
It went through its whole repertoire and then started
all over again. It was hot out, unusually so for an April
night, so I had my window open. Naturally, I couldn’t sleep
with that racket going on. So, I got out the bird book
and tried to follow along. He sang the song of the cow bird,
the cat bird, the cardinal, the cedar wax wing. He
whistled the tune of the Baltimore oriole, the turtle dove,
the mourning dove, and even the squawk of the grackle.
Then he imitated the ruby throated warbler, the barn wren,
the wood thrush. I thought I might have even heard a hoot
or two somewhere in the mix. This continued on all night,
until the sun was well up in the morning sky. Then I guess
he went to sleep, the bastard. So if I nod off a little later on,
and my eyes look bleary and bloodshot, if my nerves seem
frazzled and I inject black coffee right into my veins, well…
Of Course...
Long post...
Well, I survived my colonoscopy and endoscopy and the results are in. The results of the tests are... that I need more tests. I love modern medicine. The procedures I had done showed that I have no scar tissue or anything cancerous or otherwise nasty in my esophagas, stomach, retcum or colon. That's a good thing. However, the procedures did not turn up anything that would explain my high level of anemia, which is evidently a cause for concern. It doesn't seem like that big a deal to me. I know I was anemic as a kid. I had to take this awful tonic twice a day. I can still taste it. Yuck.
The freaky part is that in one of the other tests I have to have, I have to swallow a capsule containing a micro-video camera, and some monitoring equipment that straps to my body records the data as this thing passes through my whole digestive tract. I was told that this is to view my upper intestine, since they can't get in there with a regular scope-type deal. Freaky.
Well, enough about that. Wednesday with the test prep was awful as expected. I had the procedures on Thursday and slept most of the day. On Friday I was all better so I spent the day in celebration, fishing as the weather was hot. I got my first sun burn of the year, on my face and arms. I didnt catch any trout, but you know that old saying about a bad day of fishing being better than a good day at work...
Friday was so good that I repeated on Saturday, also a hot day. I caught two nice rainbows. To step back a bit, I happened to wake up in the morning when Bill was up and the smell of his English muffins made me suddenly crave pancakes, so I made some. I haven't eaten a breakfast that filling in a long time. I also fired up the grill on Saturday and made salmon steaks and cheese burgers for Bill and I, and sucked down a few beers. After the grilling and eating, I sat down in a chaise lounge on the back patio with the dogs. It was around 5:30. Yep, I fell asleep. When I woke up it was 9:30 and dark. I got up, worked on a music project for a while and went to bed.
On Sunday I slept in a while, got up and cleaned house. I practiced my guitar for an hour of so, then went to have dinner with the kids. My daughter was not there as she is in Austin on vacation visiting friends. My ex told me that my daughter's boyfriend was meeting her down there to propose to her. I was very, very happy to hear about that. I sincerely hope that she answers in the affirmative. He is such a great guy and they have made such a good, fun couple the past three years. I just know it would continue to be so.
So, today, I'm back at work. Between now and the 15th I have a lot to do. I have two tests to get taken and two doctor's visits to make. I have to take my car in for scheduled service, and for a body work estimate from when my Mom backed into it in the drive. I have to work on the yard and get the garden in. I have to repair the ceiling in the living room now that Billy Boy has the leak fixed. I have to pay my monthly bills. I have to get ready for Mother's Day and for camping. And on and on. It's going to be a hectic next two weeks. By the time it's all over I will need the rest and relaxation that the camping will bring.
Well, back at it. More later...
Well, I survived my colonoscopy and endoscopy and the results are in. The results of the tests are... that I need more tests. I love modern medicine. The procedures I had done showed that I have no scar tissue or anything cancerous or otherwise nasty in my esophagas, stomach, retcum or colon. That's a good thing. However, the procedures did not turn up anything that would explain my high level of anemia, which is evidently a cause for concern. It doesn't seem like that big a deal to me. I know I was anemic as a kid. I had to take this awful tonic twice a day. I can still taste it. Yuck.
The freaky part is that in one of the other tests I have to have, I have to swallow a capsule containing a micro-video camera, and some monitoring equipment that straps to my body records the data as this thing passes through my whole digestive tract. I was told that this is to view my upper intestine, since they can't get in there with a regular scope-type deal. Freaky.
Well, enough about that. Wednesday with the test prep was awful as expected. I had the procedures on Thursday and slept most of the day. On Friday I was all better so I spent the day in celebration, fishing as the weather was hot. I got my first sun burn of the year, on my face and arms. I didnt catch any trout, but you know that old saying about a bad day of fishing being better than a good day at work...
Friday was so good that I repeated on Saturday, also a hot day. I caught two nice rainbows. To step back a bit, I happened to wake up in the morning when Bill was up and the smell of his English muffins made me suddenly crave pancakes, so I made some. I haven't eaten a breakfast that filling in a long time. I also fired up the grill on Saturday and made salmon steaks and cheese burgers for Bill and I, and sucked down a few beers. After the grilling and eating, I sat down in a chaise lounge on the back patio with the dogs. It was around 5:30. Yep, I fell asleep. When I woke up it was 9:30 and dark. I got up, worked on a music project for a while and went to bed.
On Sunday I slept in a while, got up and cleaned house. I practiced my guitar for an hour of so, then went to have dinner with the kids. My daughter was not there as she is in Austin on vacation visiting friends. My ex told me that my daughter's boyfriend was meeting her down there to propose to her. I was very, very happy to hear about that. I sincerely hope that she answers in the affirmative. He is such a great guy and they have made such a good, fun couple the past three years. I just know it would continue to be so.
So, today, I'm back at work. Between now and the 15th I have a lot to do. I have two tests to get taken and two doctor's visits to make. I have to take my car in for scheduled service, and for a body work estimate from when my Mom backed into it in the drive. I have to work on the yard and get the garden in. I have to repair the ceiling in the living room now that Billy Boy has the leak fixed. I have to pay my monthly bills. I have to get ready for Mother's Day and for camping. And on and on. It's going to be a hectic next two weeks. By the time it's all over I will need the rest and relaxation that the camping will bring.
Well, back at it. More later...
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Confessions Of A Lawn Jockey
I stand at the window and peer out
at the yard through the spring storm.
I can almost feel the grass growing as it
soaks in the bonanza of moisture.
This saddens me, for soon the lawn
will be high, and I will have no choice
but to drag out the mower and begin the
annual chore of the weekly cutting.
I don’t join my neighbors in spending
the first warm afternoon of the year in lawn
labor, eagerly walking behind that damned noisy
machine. I wait until there is no putting it off.
I wait until guilt takes over when I look at the
neighbor’s landscaping. I wait until they look
at mine and shake their heads.
As a kid I used to cut lawns for money. I cut
as many in a weekend as I could just to get
the cash. Now I would gladly pay someone else
to do the walking back and forth across the grass,
to do the trimming and edging, too. If only I could
find someone willing to do it on the weekend when
I am home to unlock the back gate and let the dogs in.
I’m not lazy, but I can almost feel the energy
drain from me each time I pull that starter
cord, feel the thrill of summer wasting away
with every pass across the yard, feel the will
to live fade with every over-heated step. I wait
and look forward to early October, the change
of the leaves, the death of the garden, the end
of fishing season and the start of hunting season,
and most of all, the last cutting of the season.
at the yard through the spring storm.
I can almost feel the grass growing as it
soaks in the bonanza of moisture.
This saddens me, for soon the lawn
will be high, and I will have no choice
but to drag out the mower and begin the
annual chore of the weekly cutting.
I don’t join my neighbors in spending
the first warm afternoon of the year in lawn
labor, eagerly walking behind that damned noisy
machine. I wait until there is no putting it off.
I wait until guilt takes over when I look at the
neighbor’s landscaping. I wait until they look
at mine and shake their heads.
As a kid I used to cut lawns for money. I cut
as many in a weekend as I could just to get
the cash. Now I would gladly pay someone else
to do the walking back and forth across the grass,
to do the trimming and edging, too. If only I could
find someone willing to do it on the weekend when
I am home to unlock the back gate and let the dogs in.
I’m not lazy, but I can almost feel the energy
drain from me each time I pull that starter
cord, feel the thrill of summer wasting away
with every pass across the yard, feel the will
to live fade with every over-heated step. I wait
and look forward to early October, the change
of the leaves, the death of the garden, the end
of fishing season and the start of hunting season,
and most of all, the last cutting of the season.
Almost Time
Well, this morning I saw my psychatrist, and he saw me. He's very happy that I am doing so well, but not so happy that he is willing to take me off of any of the drugs. I do wish that I could get off some of them.
My head cold and sore throat are now gone, so for sure I am off work the next three days. Tomorrow is my prep day for the colonoscopy. Thursday is the day of the procedure (my poor bung!), and Friday is my day off of work without pay. A five day weekend, although two days of it will kind of be a waste. I plan on some fishing on Friday. I will certainly not be checking work emails, that's for sure.
I have been slaving away at work trying to complete writing employee performance reviews. We were told yesterday to start on them and that they have to be completed, reviewed by upper management, reviewed with the employees, signatures collected and turned in to corporate all by May 1st. I always feel like I could do a better job and give the employees more of a complete appraisal given appropriate time to complete them, but that never happens. These things are always a rush job, which is not fair, but then, life seldom is fair.
Well, back to work. More later probably...
My head cold and sore throat are now gone, so for sure I am off work the next three days. Tomorrow is my prep day for the colonoscopy. Thursday is the day of the procedure (my poor bung!), and Friday is my day off of work without pay. A five day weekend, although two days of it will kind of be a waste. I plan on some fishing on Friday. I will certainly not be checking work emails, that's for sure.
I have been slaving away at work trying to complete writing employee performance reviews. We were told yesterday to start on them and that they have to be completed, reviewed by upper management, reviewed with the employees, signatures collected and turned in to corporate all by May 1st. I always feel like I could do a better job and give the employees more of a complete appraisal given appropriate time to complete them, but that never happens. These things are always a rush job, which is not fair, but then, life seldom is fair.
Well, back to work. More later probably...
Monday, April 20, 2009
April Storm
The sounds of an early spring storm-
The low tumble, tumble of thunder,
the steady plash of rain on a metal roof
makes the dark seem that much darker,
the night seem that much calmer,
the coffee go down that much smoother,
the mood that much more mellow.
Once it stops, the shrill chirp of the spring
peepers announces to all that the season
is progressing on schedule.
Tomorrow the world will awaken
from this soggy dream. The sun will rise
and the breezes will blow to dry up
the sodden ground, and all will wait
for the next round to come along.
There will be many more before
the black-eyed Susan bloom and the buds
fall from the plum trees out back.
The low tumble, tumble of thunder,
the steady plash of rain on a metal roof
makes the dark seem that much darker,
the night seem that much calmer,
the coffee go down that much smoother,
the mood that much more mellow.
Once it stops, the shrill chirp of the spring
peepers announces to all that the season
is progressing on schedule.
Tomorrow the world will awaken
from this soggy dream. The sun will rise
and the breezes will blow to dry up
the sodden ground, and all will wait
for the next round to come along.
There will be many more before
the black-eyed Susan bloom and the buds
fall from the plum trees out back.
I, Rip Van Winkle
The weather this weekend was just beautiful, but I did nothing but sleep! It started when I tried to sleep between the time I got home Friday night- 1:00 AM- and the time I had to get back up for work- 5:00 AM. Try as I might I could not sleep, so I went back to work on no sleep. I got home from work at around 1:00 PM. I pretty much went right to the bed room to take a short nap and woke back up at 8:00 PM!
After that I got something to eat and started trying to clean up the house. Around 10:30 I mopped the floors and sat down to watch some TV while they dried. I nodded off and when I awoke it was 4:30 AM! Feeling very groggy, I promptly went to bed, in my clothes, and did not wake back up until 2:30 PM on Sunday! I only had a couple of hours before I had to go have dinner with the kids. The weekend was basically over. No fishing, no hiking, no biking, no nothing. The Saturday morning overtime basically robbed me of what could have been a very nice weekend.
Now it's rainy and cool and crappy out, and will be for the next few days. All I can do is look forward to next weekend. The weather forecast says we will have temperatures into the 80s. I'll certainly make up for lost time then.
After that I got something to eat and started trying to clean up the house. Around 10:30 I mopped the floors and sat down to watch some TV while they dried. I nodded off and when I awoke it was 4:30 AM! Feeling very groggy, I promptly went to bed, in my clothes, and did not wake back up until 2:30 PM on Sunday! I only had a couple of hours before I had to go have dinner with the kids. The weekend was basically over. No fishing, no hiking, no biking, no nothing. The Saturday morning overtime basically robbed me of what could have been a very nice weekend.
Now it's rainy and cool and crappy out, and will be for the next few days. All I can do is look forward to next weekend. The weather forecast says we will have temperatures into the 80s. I'll certainly make up for lost time then.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Birds
I would not want to be a bird,
having to fly around with my
mouth open to try to catch
a meal, like the flycatchers do.
I would not like to have to spend
all day pecking at the ground
to pickup what ever specks of
food I could like a chicken or a wild
turkey has to do. I would not like
hammering my head into a tree
trunk just to get a bite to eat like
the red-headed woodpecker does.
I think that I would go hungry
an awful lot of the time, and that’s
just not for me.
having to fly around with my
mouth open to try to catch
a meal, like the flycatchers do.
I would not like to have to spend
all day pecking at the ground
to pickup what ever specks of
food I could like a chicken or a wild
turkey has to do. I would not like
hammering my head into a tree
trunk just to get a bite to eat like
the red-headed woodpecker does.
I think that I would go hungry
an awful lot of the time, and that’s
just not for me.
Friday By The Numbers
1. At the top of my attention again today is the weather. It is absolutely georgous outside. No jacket needed, no sweater needed. Shirt sleeves. It's supposed to be like this tomorrow, too. Too bad I won't be able to enjoy that with having to work.
2. My head cold is a lot better today, but my throat is worse. I had a phone interview with the anesthesiologist for my endoscopy today, and she said that if my throat isn't better by the middle of next week we may have to reschedule the procedure. I don't want that. I want to get it over with.
3. I feel very distracted, or rather, unfocused today. My mind is a jumble of little things and I'm finding it hard to concentrate on any one thing for very long. Maybe number one above has something to do with that.
4. Work is busy tonight but half of my staff is out on vacation days, so it's kind of quiet. That's fine with me as long as the time doesn't drag on.
5. I brought a can of cream of potato soup with me to have for dinner tonight, but I found that there is no milk in the vending machines, so I have to come up with a plan "B". Maybe I'll order out from someplace and have it delivered. Our vending machine company sucks. It seems that they only come to fill the machines once a week. It's not enough. I'd complain to our admin manager but he could probably care less.
6. I'm hearing a "song" on the radio right now that is nothing more than Werewolves Of London with different words sung to it. Very cheezy, and can you say "lawsuit"?
7. Right now I think I'd rather be playing majong and drinking margaritas on my back patio.
8. Billy Boy's mom is coming for a visit from Harrisburg this weekend. This should be fun. And she is supposedly a great cook. I'm all for that- good food that doesn't involve me being at the stove. And she is funny- a female version of him attitude-wise. You'd have to know him to get it.
9. I think I'm feeling well enough to do the hiking in the Pine Barrens this Sunday, as long as the weather holds out. Man, I love being out there in the middle of the forest with the quiet.
10. Everyone have a great weekend...
2. My head cold is a lot better today, but my throat is worse. I had a phone interview with the anesthesiologist for my endoscopy today, and she said that if my throat isn't better by the middle of next week we may have to reschedule the procedure. I don't want that. I want to get it over with.
3. I feel very distracted, or rather, unfocused today. My mind is a jumble of little things and I'm finding it hard to concentrate on any one thing for very long. Maybe number one above has something to do with that.
4. Work is busy tonight but half of my staff is out on vacation days, so it's kind of quiet. That's fine with me as long as the time doesn't drag on.
5. I brought a can of cream of potato soup with me to have for dinner tonight, but I found that there is no milk in the vending machines, so I have to come up with a plan "B". Maybe I'll order out from someplace and have it delivered. Our vending machine company sucks. It seems that they only come to fill the machines once a week. It's not enough. I'd complain to our admin manager but he could probably care less.
6. I'm hearing a "song" on the radio right now that is nothing more than Werewolves Of London with different words sung to it. Very cheezy, and can you say "lawsuit"?
7. Right now I think I'd rather be playing majong and drinking margaritas on my back patio.
8. Billy Boy's mom is coming for a visit from Harrisburg this weekend. This should be fun. And she is supposedly a great cook. I'm all for that- good food that doesn't involve me being at the stove. And she is funny- a female version of him attitude-wise. You'd have to know him to get it.
9. I think I'm feeling well enough to do the hiking in the Pine Barrens this Sunday, as long as the weather holds out. Man, I love being out there in the middle of the forest with the quiet.
10. Everyone have a great weekend...
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Spring Again
The warmer weather is back with us today. It is warm enough to be outside with a light jacket. It feels more like spring again and less like winter. I'm feeling somewhat better today as far as my illness goes, but I'm feeling pretty tired despite getting a good night's sleep last night.
There is not much else to report today. It's a nice day and I'm just glad to be alive and kicking.
There is not much else to report today. It's a nice day and I'm just glad to be alive and kicking.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
A Mixed Bag Today
My illness is holding it's own pretty well today. I slept really well last night thanks to one of my Ambiens, but woke up totally stuffed up and my throat aching. I must have been breathing through my mouth all night, it was so dry. It is also raining and cold out, which doesn't help. It's almost as if the winter came back to kick ass one more time before it says good bye for the year. Good riddance, I say.
Well, the bad economic situation hit home again today. My sister was laid off from her job today. This, after getting promoted to manager just three months ago. She had been at this company for eight years. Her take-home pay was about half of the household income. That really, really hurts. I feel so bad for her and my brother-in-law, and there is nothing I can do to help. Again, I hope that we have hit bottom now.
I'm not looking forward to working on Saturday morning. As anyone who reads me often knows, I don't get home from work on Friday nights until around 1:00 AM. To have to turn around and get up at 5:30 to go back to work really sucks. I'll probably have to opt to nap on the couch or just stay up and save the sleeping for Saturday afternoon, or I may not make it. I'm just glad it's not a regular thing.
I managed to write three poems last night, so I am back to being caught up on the poem a day thing for National Poetry Month. And if I could whore myself a bit, I am the featured poet for the month in the fine on line poetry journal, Chantarelle's Notebook, which I am thrilled about. Just Google it if you are interested.
Well, back to work.
Well, the bad economic situation hit home again today. My sister was laid off from her job today. This, after getting promoted to manager just three months ago. She had been at this company for eight years. Her take-home pay was about half of the household income. That really, really hurts. I feel so bad for her and my brother-in-law, and there is nothing I can do to help. Again, I hope that we have hit bottom now.
I'm not looking forward to working on Saturday morning. As anyone who reads me often knows, I don't get home from work on Friday nights until around 1:00 AM. To have to turn around and get up at 5:30 to go back to work really sucks. I'll probably have to opt to nap on the couch or just stay up and save the sleeping for Saturday afternoon, or I may not make it. I'm just glad it's not a regular thing.
I managed to write three poems last night, so I am back to being caught up on the poem a day thing for National Poetry Month. And if I could whore myself a bit, I am the featured poet for the month in the fine on line poetry journal, Chantarelle's Notebook, which I am thrilled about. Just Google it if you are interested.
Well, back to work.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
A Day's Apathy
It is the second day
after my vacation and I am
still not worth a damn.
Post-trip thoughts fill
my mind and I cannot get
my head around the paperwork
stacked neatly beside me.
I sit in the chair and daydream
of not being here, of just
a few more days of enjoyment.
There is so much fun to be
had in the world, and so little
time in this life to take advantage
of it. I stare aimlessly at the white
and blue computer screen. It is
almost lunch time, the work day
half over, then home to rest
for a few hours before starting
all over again. I think that day
three will probably be much like
today has been. I sigh deeply.
after my vacation and I am
still not worth a damn.
Post-trip thoughts fill
my mind and I cannot get
my head around the paperwork
stacked neatly beside me.
I sit in the chair and daydream
of not being here, of just
a few more days of enjoyment.
There is so much fun to be
had in the world, and so little
time in this life to take advantage
of it. I stare aimlessly at the white
and blue computer screen. It is
almost lunch time, the work day
half over, then home to rest
for a few hours before starting
all over again. I think that day
three will probably be much like
today has been. I sigh deeply.
Tuesday Stuffs
My illness is somewhat stable for now. I'm not feeling any better, but I'm not feeling any worse, either. The nature of it is changing, too. There are tradeoffs. I am breathing a bit better, but I'm also more snotty. The sinus pressure and soreness in my throat isn't as bad, but I'm sneezing and get that big-headed feeling. All I can do is rest when I can and keep taking the zinc and silver. I'm hoping to get over this quickly because I would like to go hiking on Sunday.
I managed to write seven poems last night, so I am almost caught up on the poem a day deal for the month. I hate to count one of the poems, though, because it is about writing. Whenever I don't know what to write about and I'm grasping, I write about writing. I have to stop doing that.
At the end of next week I have my endoscopy, which I am not looking forward to having. I'll be off work for three days, one of which is my no pay day for the month. There is prep day (yuck), the day of, and the day after recuperation. I know that this is the right thing to do for my greater health so I am just going to grit my teeth and plow my way through it.
Did you see the thing on the news about Smarties candies? Kids are now grinding these candies up into a fine powder and inhaling it into their lungs from out of the wrapper and exhaling it like cigarette smoke. Unbelieveable. Where do they get this stuff from? I can't imagine. It's like the farm kids I went to school with who used to smoke dried cow shit when no one was watching them. Yuck.
Well, that's it for me for now. I've blogs to read, work to do, and poems to write.
I managed to write seven poems last night, so I am almost caught up on the poem a day deal for the month. I hate to count one of the poems, though, because it is about writing. Whenever I don't know what to write about and I'm grasping, I write about writing. I have to stop doing that.
At the end of next week I have my endoscopy, which I am not looking forward to having. I'll be off work for three days, one of which is my no pay day for the month. There is prep day (yuck), the day of, and the day after recuperation. I know that this is the right thing to do for my greater health so I am just going to grit my teeth and plow my way through it.
Did you see the thing on the news about Smarties candies? Kids are now grinding these candies up into a fine powder and inhaling it into their lungs from out of the wrapper and exhaling it like cigarette smoke. Unbelieveable. Where do they get this stuff from? I can't imagine. It's like the farm kids I went to school with who used to smoke dried cow shit when no one was watching them. Yuck.
Well, that's it for me for now. I've blogs to read, work to do, and poems to write.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Just Thought...
...I'd show you. My best friend from school days sent me this. It's me in the recording studio in Riverside, NJ about six years and three waist sizes ago. Dig that brick-sized cell phone.
I'm Baaaaack...
So, I'm back from vacation. The rest of the trip was good. Lots of visiting with relatives and eating out and parties. And I slept great every night I was there. I'm glad that my family is so much fun. I hated to leave. It seemed like such a quick trip. With any kind of luck I will be back there for a couple of weeks in August.
I drove 80 MPH almost all the way home yesterday and made it back in seven hours. I only stopped once to go to the bathroom and fuel up. It's a new record for me, not that I'm trying to beat the clock or anything.
When I got home the dogs were very glad to see me. They had, however, shown their displeasure at my being gone. Cortez ate the last several chapters of a John Fante book of mine, and Bill told me that Bosco had been peeing on everything in the kitchen dispite being let out frequently to go to the bathroom. Still, I was happy to be back home with them. I was also happy to find that, with the exception of mopping the kitchen floor, Bill had cleaned the whole house from top to bottom. That was nice to come home to find.
The bad news in all of this is that I am getting sick. I woke up Sunday morning with a sore throat coming on, and later in the evening I got so stuffy that I could hardly breathe. I began downing zinc tablets, colloidal silver and orange juice. I could not sleep due to the stuffiness, so finally at 4:00 AM I took a Sudafed, which I am not really supposed to take beause it raises the blood pressure. I took it anyway, and a half hour later I was clear.
Today I am fightng the stuffiness again a little. I can feel the pressure building in my sinuses. And work is complete insanity. I'm running two departments tonight but almost everyone is working in shipping due to unusually high work volume in that department because of the place being closed on Friday. The offices were also closed today as this is their manditory unpaid day off for April, so very few calls or emails coming through, and our front offices are like a ghost town.
Well, tonight I have paperwork to catch up on, blogs to catch up on, and poetry writing to catch up on. Better get to it...
I drove 80 MPH almost all the way home yesterday and made it back in seven hours. I only stopped once to go to the bathroom and fuel up. It's a new record for me, not that I'm trying to beat the clock or anything.
When I got home the dogs were very glad to see me. They had, however, shown their displeasure at my being gone. Cortez ate the last several chapters of a John Fante book of mine, and Bill told me that Bosco had been peeing on everything in the kitchen dispite being let out frequently to go to the bathroom. Still, I was happy to be back home with them. I was also happy to find that, with the exception of mopping the kitchen floor, Bill had cleaned the whole house from top to bottom. That was nice to come home to find.
The bad news in all of this is that I am getting sick. I woke up Sunday morning with a sore throat coming on, and later in the evening I got so stuffy that I could hardly breathe. I began downing zinc tablets, colloidal silver and orange juice. I could not sleep due to the stuffiness, so finally at 4:00 AM I took a Sudafed, which I am not really supposed to take beause it raises the blood pressure. I took it anyway, and a half hour later I was clear.
Today I am fightng the stuffiness again a little. I can feel the pressure building in my sinuses. And work is complete insanity. I'm running two departments tonight but almost everyone is working in shipping due to unusually high work volume in that department because of the place being closed on Friday. The offices were also closed today as this is their manditory unpaid day off for April, so very few calls or emails coming through, and our front offices are like a ghost town.
Well, tonight I have paperwork to catch up on, blogs to catch up on, and poetry writing to catch up on. Better get to it...
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Vacation Update
Vacation has been good so far. I left home for Ohio around 1:30 AM, and I made good time. At that hour there was literally no traffic. I got to my parent's house at 10:15 AM. That afternoon was my great-niece's first birthday party. A lot of people showed up. I got to see some inlaws and people whom I haven't seen in a long while.
Sunday I went hiking at one of the local parks with my sister. The weather was warm- in the low 60s. My mother made a great spaghetti dinner for everyone later in the day.
Monday afternoon I went book shopping and to a movie with my parents. That evening we went to dinner at a brand new restaurant called Mark The Millers. The food was very good and they had a big choice of drafts- around thirty. It got really cold and windy on Monday and snow was in the forecast, believe it or not.
Today I made a tour of the local sporting goods stores with my brother. We got a tackle box and some lures fror my nephew, who is just starting to get into fishing. It snowed off and on all day and was pretty windy. After the shopping my mother made us a big lunch. I took a nice long nap in the late afternoon. My mother made one of my favorite dinners- salmon cakes, mac and cheese and pork and beans. In the evening we went to visit my sister and brother in law.
Tomorrow we will be going to the town rec center to swim and use the jacuzzi. I will probably get in touch with my best friend from high school to see if he is able to hook up at some point during my visit. It is supposed to warm up again- get back into the upper 50s. The weather here is really crazy right now.
I hope that everyone in Blogger Land is doing well. I will catch up on everyone's journals as I am able...
Sunday I went hiking at one of the local parks with my sister. The weather was warm- in the low 60s. My mother made a great spaghetti dinner for everyone later in the day.
Monday afternoon I went book shopping and to a movie with my parents. That evening we went to dinner at a brand new restaurant called Mark The Millers. The food was very good and they had a big choice of drafts- around thirty. It got really cold and windy on Monday and snow was in the forecast, believe it or not.
Today I made a tour of the local sporting goods stores with my brother. We got a tackle box and some lures fror my nephew, who is just starting to get into fishing. It snowed off and on all day and was pretty windy. After the shopping my mother made us a big lunch. I took a nice long nap in the late afternoon. My mother made one of my favorite dinners- salmon cakes, mac and cheese and pork and beans. In the evening we went to visit my sister and brother in law.
Tomorrow we will be going to the town rec center to swim and use the jacuzzi. I will probably get in touch with my best friend from high school to see if he is able to hook up at some point during my visit. It is supposed to warm up again- get back into the upper 50s. The weather here is really crazy right now.
I hope that everyone in Blogger Land is doing well. I will catch up on everyone's journals as I am able...
Friday, April 3, 2009
Because I Got Tagged
Because the lovely Xanadu tagged me:
Three ideas to save money:
1. Wash all of your clothes, except those with really bad stains, in cold water.
2. Take really fast showers.
3. Don't eat at fast food restaurants.
Three ideas to save money:
1. Wash all of your clothes, except those with really bad stains, in cold water.
2. Take really fast showers.
3. Don't eat at fast food restaurants.
Gentlemen, Start Your Engines
First today, I just want to say for the record that I can't stand that song, My Umbrella. It is quickly replacing the Delilah song as the tune I most love to hate.
Well, in about eight and a half hours and so many minutes I will hit the road for Ohio. I can hardly wait. I got up early again this morning. I finished packing my too many things into my too small suit case. I cleaned out the car. I packed into the car all of my CDs that constitute my favorite road music. I went over the details of caring for the dogs with Billy Boy, who's work was cancelled again today because of rain. I would not want to be a painter like him unless I could get all inside work. We double checked the living room ceiling and the roof to make sure it's not still leaking. It's not.
So, nothing to do now but muddle through the rest of the work night and hope that the time goes by quickly. It will be hard because I am just not into being here for obvious reasons. I have work to do that I just don't want to do. This is natural, I'm sure.
"Going cross country, ain't got a thought on my mind. Going cross country, leave all my cares behind" - Cross Country, The Godz
Well, in about eight and a half hours and so many minutes I will hit the road for Ohio. I can hardly wait. I got up early again this morning. I finished packing my too many things into my too small suit case. I cleaned out the car. I packed into the car all of my CDs that constitute my favorite road music. I went over the details of caring for the dogs with Billy Boy, who's work was cancelled again today because of rain. I would not want to be a painter like him unless I could get all inside work. We double checked the living room ceiling and the roof to make sure it's not still leaking. It's not.
So, nothing to do now but muddle through the rest of the work night and hope that the time goes by quickly. It will be hard because I am just not into being here for obvious reasons. I have work to do that I just don't want to do. This is natural, I'm sure.
"Going cross country, ain't got a thought on my mind. Going cross country, leave all my cares behind" - Cross Country, The Godz
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Almost There
I got home from my overtime last night around 2:30 AM. I went right to bed. I woke up promptly at 7:45 this morning- wide, wide awake. I didn't fight it this time by trying to go back to sleep. I got up and got busy. I did two loads of laundry. I got my suitcase about halfway packed. It looks like it may not be big enough. I did a few things around the house. Bill was home, his work cancelled due to rain, so I helped him find the small leak on the roof over the living room that was causing discolored spots on the ceiling. He found it almost immediately, right where he said it would be, and we got it patched. I finally sat down on the couch to watch some news around 10:30, and I fell right to sleep, waking up an hour later. Hopefully I'm not too tired later on tonight.
There's not much else happening here. Work is pretty busy, and I have a couple of whiny people on my hands. Oh, the crosses I bare around here sometimes...
There's not much else happening here. Work is pretty busy, and I have a couple of whiny people on my hands. Oh, the crosses I bare around here sometimes...
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Is It Time Yet?
I'm ready to go home already, but I still have an hour of overtime to go. I wrote the poem below tonight. It's about something that I haven't posted about yet because it's not over yet. Is that cryptic enough for you? Good night.
His Name Was “Ron”
You were supposedly grateful for the assistance.
I had supposedly made a friend for life in you.
You supposed I was a very kind person. I was.
It angers me that you are out there somewhere,
planning your next scheme, calculating
your next con. You are an artist, true, but I hate
your work. You fooled me and at the same time
destroyed my trust in human beings. I will never
forget you for that and I will never again try
to help a stranger, no matter how tearful the plea,
how dire the situation seemingly is. I just can’t.
I won’t. It truly is a shame that it comes to this.
His Name Was “Ron”
You were supposedly grateful for the assistance.
I had supposedly made a friend for life in you.
You supposed I was a very kind person. I was.
It angers me that you are out there somewhere,
planning your next scheme, calculating
your next con. You are an artist, true, but I hate
your work. You fooled me and at the same time
destroyed my trust in human beings. I will never
forget you for that and I will never again try
to help a stranger, no matter how tearful the plea,
how dire the situation seemingly is. I just can’t.
I won’t. It truly is a shame that it comes to this.
Oops, I Did It Again
I did it again last night- woke up at 4:00 AM hungry and with the RLS flaring. I got up, made myself a grilled cheese and a glass of orange juice, hit the bathroom and went back to bed. I slept great after that except that I woke up at 7:30. Too early. I forced myself to stay in bed until 10:30.
I got my suitcase out this morning for my trip, to let the inside air out a bit before I start packing it. I'm not taking a lot of clothes. It's only a week and the weather probably won't differ much then from what it is right now. I also picked up the refills on the meds that I know I would have run out of while I'm out there. Tonight I'll wash some clothes that I know I want to take with me. I've finally decided on not taking my bike with me. I think.
So, today is the start of National Poetry Month. As I mentioned before I am taking the write-a-poem-a-day challenge. I'll post the better stuff here, but not all of it, as a lot of it will no doubt be crapola. What else will I be doing to celebrate the month? I will attempt to re-read all of my Bukowski books, of which there are about a dozen. That's a fair bit of reading for me as I really have little time for it. We'll see how far I actually get.
And finally, hooray for Hump Day! The week is half-way over. Two more days and I'm on vacation.
More later, especially since I'm working overtime tonight and will get bored at some point...
I got my suitcase out this morning for my trip, to let the inside air out a bit before I start packing it. I'm not taking a lot of clothes. It's only a week and the weather probably won't differ much then from what it is right now. I also picked up the refills on the meds that I know I would have run out of while I'm out there. Tonight I'll wash some clothes that I know I want to take with me. I've finally decided on not taking my bike with me. I think.
So, today is the start of National Poetry Month. As I mentioned before I am taking the write-a-poem-a-day challenge. I'll post the better stuff here, but not all of it, as a lot of it will no doubt be crapola. What else will I be doing to celebrate the month? I will attempt to re-read all of my Bukowski books, of which there are about a dozen. That's a fair bit of reading for me as I really have little time for it. We'll see how far I actually get.
And finally, hooray for Hump Day! The week is half-way over. Two more days and I'm on vacation.
More later, especially since I'm working overtime tonight and will get bored at some point...
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