Regarding item #1 in my last post, I am no longer mad at the tech guy at work. I found out a little while ago that he is being laid off. He just found out yesterday. The poor bastard. Him and about nine secretaries and administrative assistants in our front office. Things are starting to get scary around here. First the offering of early retirements to our warehouse workers, now this. If they decide to trim back on supervisors I would probably be one of the first to go based on my salary and seniority. I hate to even think about it. I'd lose my house for one thing, because I'd never find a job that pays what this one does. Period. Not now, anyway. I could just see me moving back to Ohio at 50 to live with my folks. Right. Well enough of that.
I've transferred my anger on from the tech guy to one of my cohorts. How can I easily explain this? At the beginning of the shift he borrows one of my workers "just until lunch" to work Fed Ex shipments. Being a team player, I agree. After lunch the employee doesn't come back. My cohort decided that he needed the employee for something else so he just kept him. Oh no you don't. I took the employee back. My cohort asked if I really needed the employee or if I was just trying to make a point. I answered "both". So now he's mad at me. I'll live, and if he doesn't get over it, I'll still live.
That is all. I'm out. Good night.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Friday By The Numbers
- I'm so pissed right now at our IT guy. I told him at 3:30 that I was having major problems and he said he would come to see me in a bit. Well he left at 5:00 and didn't see me. I have no access to Word, Excel, Access or our mainframes- everything I need to do my job.
- I'm looking forward to Superbowl Sunday. Go Cardinals!!
- We are supposed to get another snow from what I hear. I know that my family in Ohio just got dumped on, so we could be next. We seem to get their weather a day or two after them.
- My great-niece is crawling around now. The thing that attracts her attention the most is the dog's food and water dishes. Wonderful.
- My daughter has been away from home for fifteen years now, and she still has all of her mail sent to the house. Then she rags on me if I forget to bring it to her on Sundays. It's annoying. My son does the same thing. I keep telling them to do a change of address but it's to no avail.
- I can hear what sounds like someone shooting a gun outside. A lot. Not a good thing.
- Work is somewhat slow tonight. You all know how I hate it when work is slow on Friday nights. It makes the time just drag and drag.
- I'm glad that I have Monday off. Other than taking my car in for service, I plan on sleeping in and generally being lazy.
- Everyone have a great weekend. Enjoy.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Of A Death
Like I said in my last post, it is bleak:
Of A Death
I hardly knew you, yet a vision arises:
The boney fingers of your velvet death lie still,
clutch at the air beside the dank waters.
A muse mourns and wails on nearby
hillside for the love’s life lost.
The moss grows thick over closed eyes
that face towards the sky, clouds suspended,
unseen. It interweaves in tangles of auburn hair.
Lungs blackened, now just empty cavern cavities,
hold no breath, move neither up nor down.
Spine and pelvis, a crooked shovel, begin
to crumble, broken bits of humanity eroded.
Lips, blue and waxy are parted, doorway
into a life no longer there. The wild ivy vines
wrapping tendrils around emaciated legs
will soon cover the entire body,
drag it down into the humus
from which all things come,
and to which all things return.
As you lie, the clock plays its drum beat,
lumbering and laborious into eternity’s fire.
Pan plays his pipes, a wicked melody to the rhythm
as the dark ones smile on from behind
and inside the wisps of blue-gray smoke
that hang pendulous in the air and spread
like a caustic fog. You have smoked your last.
Good bye, and good night.
Of A Death
I hardly knew you, yet a vision arises:
The boney fingers of your velvet death lie still,
clutch at the air beside the dank waters.
A muse mourns and wails on nearby
hillside for the love’s life lost.
The moss grows thick over closed eyes
that face towards the sky, clouds suspended,
unseen. It interweaves in tangles of auburn hair.
Lungs blackened, now just empty cavern cavities,
hold no breath, move neither up nor down.
Spine and pelvis, a crooked shovel, begin
to crumble, broken bits of humanity eroded.
Lips, blue and waxy are parted, doorway
into a life no longer there. The wild ivy vines
wrapping tendrils around emaciated legs
will soon cover the entire body,
drag it down into the humus
from which all things come,
and to which all things return.
As you lie, the clock plays its drum beat,
lumbering and laborious into eternity’s fire.
Pan plays his pipes, a wicked melody to the rhythm
as the dark ones smile on from behind
and inside the wisps of blue-gray smoke
that hang pendulous in the air and spread
like a caustic fog. You have smoked your last.
Good bye, and good night.
Another Day Off And Stuff
Well, I had a whole long post writen out in my head a little bit ago, and then got distracted by something here at work. When I turned back to the computer, the post was completely out of my head. Has this ever happened to you? It's distrubing.
I slept very well last night and the RLS did not beat me up much. In fact, I woke up barely in time to get ready for work. I hate when I do that. It's not as cold today although there is still snow on the ground. There is actually a bit of daylight left right now at 5:15 PM, which is good to see. Work is moderately busy tonight, and this afternoon I got hammered with "to dos", in our safety committee meeting, for which I am the chairman.
I had almost forgotten until late this afternoon that I took Monday off because of the Superbowl. So I made an appointment to take my car in for service that afternoon just to get it out of the way. A couple of months ago a friend from work invited me to her house for a Superbowl party. She has yet to say anything more about it since then. I know that her family has been having a very had time financially lately. Her husband is a new car salesman. I'm thinking that they may not be able to afford to entertain at this point, so I don't want to say anything to her about it. I may end up making other last minute plans for the game. I know that my son and my daughter's boyfriend still plan on watching.
I've been working on a rather bleak poem about the aunt of mine that died, whom I posted about yesterday. I may share it later. She died of lung cancer. She was another life-long smoker. She actually ended up in the hospital because she fell asleep while smoking and set herself on fire. She was apparently burned badly, and her lungs could not handle the overall bodily stress. So this poem is about her and it is also another about smoking. I have written many of those.
Well, it's apparent from the activities going on around me here right now that I need to do some babysitting. I truly hate that. More later.
I slept very well last night and the RLS did not beat me up much. In fact, I woke up barely in time to get ready for work. I hate when I do that. It's not as cold today although there is still snow on the ground. There is actually a bit of daylight left right now at 5:15 PM, which is good to see. Work is moderately busy tonight, and this afternoon I got hammered with "to dos", in our safety committee meeting, for which I am the chairman.
I had almost forgotten until late this afternoon that I took Monday off because of the Superbowl. So I made an appointment to take my car in for service that afternoon just to get it out of the way. A couple of months ago a friend from work invited me to her house for a Superbowl party. She has yet to say anything more about it since then. I know that her family has been having a very had time financially lately. Her husband is a new car salesman. I'm thinking that they may not be able to afford to entertain at this point, so I don't want to say anything to her about it. I may end up making other last minute plans for the game. I know that my son and my daughter's boyfriend still plan on watching.
I've been working on a rather bleak poem about the aunt of mine that died, whom I posted about yesterday. I may share it later. She died of lung cancer. She was another life-long smoker. She actually ended up in the hospital because she fell asleep while smoking and set herself on fire. She was apparently burned badly, and her lungs could not handle the overall bodily stress. So this poem is about her and it is also another about smoking. I have written many of those.
Well, it's apparent from the activities going on around me here right now that I need to do some babysitting. I truly hate that. More later.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Snow And "Visions"
Well, it started snowing pretty heavy on my way home last night. The roads most of the way home were alright. They had been salted pretty good. That was, until I got into Burlington County. As per the usual, nothing had been done to the roads in my home county, and they were slippery. The traffic was moving at about 35 MPH on the freeway. It took me a little over an hour and a half to get home.
The RLS kicked in big time last night about 3:30 AM. It has been pretty calm lately. Despite taking a half a sleeping pill before I went to bed, it woke me right up. After thrashing around in bed for a half an hour I got up and sat on the couch with a blanket in front of the television- CNN. I fell asleep sitting up pretty quickly and didn't wake up until around 10:00. I got up, got dressed, and went out to shovel the snow off the walks. It was foggy outside and drizzling. The snow was all slushy and heavy. I got it done though, and went back in and got a shower and dressed for work. I sat back down in front of the TV and fell asleep again. This time I woke up in time to leave for work at 1:00.
I think that tonight I'll take a whole sleeping pill, just to make sure that I don't have a repeat of last night. The involuntary leg movements and not being able to sleep are almost unbearable on nights like last night.
Work is somewhat busy today. I had a "career visions" meeting with my boss this afternoon. The topic of such a meeting is what I want to do with my career in the future, what my strengths and "improvement items" (read "weaknesses") are, and what needs to be done to help me improve and meet my goals. I take these meetings with a grain of salt. They have been having some form of these things every year that I have been here, and it's always the same: I'm doing great. I'm a big asset to the company. I'm very promotable. Yet, somehow, it never happens, and there is a different reason why every time I put in for a promotion and don't get it. I usually play along in these meetings like the good soldier, but this time I told my boss, who is relatively new to the company, just what I have said here. He didn't have much to say back about it. I'm not really concerned. I'm glad to have a good job to go to at this point, honestly.
The RLS kicked in big time last night about 3:30 AM. It has been pretty calm lately. Despite taking a half a sleeping pill before I went to bed, it woke me right up. After thrashing around in bed for a half an hour I got up and sat on the couch with a blanket in front of the television- CNN. I fell asleep sitting up pretty quickly and didn't wake up until around 10:00. I got up, got dressed, and went out to shovel the snow off the walks. It was foggy outside and drizzling. The snow was all slushy and heavy. I got it done though, and went back in and got a shower and dressed for work. I sat back down in front of the TV and fell asleep again. This time I woke up in time to leave for work at 1:00.
I think that tonight I'll take a whole sleeping pill, just to make sure that I don't have a repeat of last night. The involuntary leg movements and not being able to sleep are almost unbearable on nights like last night.
Work is somewhat busy today. I had a "career visions" meeting with my boss this afternoon. The topic of such a meeting is what I want to do with my career in the future, what my strengths and "improvement items" (read "weaknesses") are, and what needs to be done to help me improve and meet my goals. I take these meetings with a grain of salt. They have been having some form of these things every year that I have been here, and it's always the same: I'm doing great. I'm a big asset to the company. I'm very promotable. Yet, somehow, it never happens, and there is a different reason why every time I put in for a promotion and don't get it. I usually play along in these meetings like the good soldier, but this time I told my boss, who is relatively new to the company, just what I have said here. He didn't have much to say back about it. I'm not really concerned. I'm glad to have a good job to go to at this point, honestly.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Not Yet
Well, so far, no snow. Not one single flake. Maybe the weather guys were bluffing. Or don't know what they are talking about. It is getting colder out, though. I have this funny feeling like my ride in to work tomorrow could be a mess. I sure hope not.
I'm still at work for the moment, cleaning up the evening's mess. It's been a pretty hectic night. I'll be out of here as soon as I complete a couple more small tasks.
Everyone have a good night.
I'm still at work for the moment, cleaning up the evening's mess. It's been a pretty hectic night. I'll be out of here as soon as I complete a couple more small tasks.
Everyone have a good night.
I Knew It
Well, the front offices had their big meetings today, and we had one, too. Those of us over 55 with more than ten years of service are being offered early retirement packages. They want to cut heads through synthetic attrition, as I call it. That does not include me. I couldn't now anyway. Also, there will be some restructuring. Some jobs will be moved or consolidated, some will go away. About 100 jobs in sales and marketing will go away, we were told. 100 out of a company of about 2,500 or so. It could have been a lot worse.
It has not started snowing out yet. In fact the skies are half-clear right now. It is still plenty cold, though, and the air feels damp. I have a feeling things will change in the next few hours.
This morning I got up early and went to see my psychiatrist. I still have to stick to all of my meds. He did put me on a cheaper version of one of the meds though, so that helps. He had a general lack of appreciation for my Ohio State ball cap. He went to the University Of Michigan. I had forgotten about that. Oh, well, he was light-spirited about it. After my appointment I went to the gym and worked out for an hour. I came home after that and promptly fell asleep on the couch until almost time to leave for work. I have a feeling that I will sleep very well tonight.
In the next few days I have to have a talk with my ex about something and I'm not looking forward to it. Nice, maybe too nice, guy that I am, I get her her lease car for her through my company because it's a great rate and the insurance is included. The payments are deducted from my paycheck each month- I get paid monthly. We had an agreement that she would pay me back half of the cost every two weeks. Well, she paid me nothing in December and has yet to pay me anything this month, which is almost over. At this point she owes me about $800 for the vehicle lease. In spite of what she may think my circumstances are, I need that money. I have bills to pay and so on. That should be a happy little chat when it happens, which will be sometime this week yet.
An aunt of mine died over the weekend. I had not seen her in probably over 30 years. Although a nice person, she was never really close to the family. I think that maybe she distanced herself because of my uncle, who was an alchoholic and a schizophrenic. They divorced when I was very young. He was my mother's brother, so this was an aunt by marraige. I remember very little about her. It's a shame when things happen that way. I only have one aunt (blood) left now, and she lives somewhat of a hermit's existance somewhere out in Arizona. I haven't seen here since I was probably six or seven years old. I don't even remember what she looks like. All I know about her is her name and where she lives. Sad, isn't it?
Well, I don't want to end this post on an unhappy note, so I'll say that I am starting to plan a trip t go home to visit the family sometime in February or March. I haven't been home since July. Now is the time to go while gas is still reasonable. I can't wait. I'm thinking that I will surprise my parents this time and only tell my siblings that I'm coming. I can hardly wait.
It has not started snowing out yet. In fact the skies are half-clear right now. It is still plenty cold, though, and the air feels damp. I have a feeling things will change in the next few hours.
This morning I got up early and went to see my psychiatrist. I still have to stick to all of my meds. He did put me on a cheaper version of one of the meds though, so that helps. He had a general lack of appreciation for my Ohio State ball cap. He went to the University Of Michigan. I had forgotten about that. Oh, well, he was light-spirited about it. After my appointment I went to the gym and worked out for an hour. I came home after that and promptly fell asleep on the couch until almost time to leave for work. I have a feeling that I will sleep very well tonight.
In the next few days I have to have a talk with my ex about something and I'm not looking forward to it. Nice, maybe too nice, guy that I am, I get her her lease car for her through my company because it's a great rate and the insurance is included. The payments are deducted from my paycheck each month- I get paid monthly. We had an agreement that she would pay me back half of the cost every two weeks. Well, she paid me nothing in December and has yet to pay me anything this month, which is almost over. At this point she owes me about $800 for the vehicle lease. In spite of what she may think my circumstances are, I need that money. I have bills to pay and so on. That should be a happy little chat when it happens, which will be sometime this week yet.
An aunt of mine died over the weekend. I had not seen her in probably over 30 years. Although a nice person, she was never really close to the family. I think that maybe she distanced herself because of my uncle, who was an alchoholic and a schizophrenic. They divorced when I was very young. He was my mother's brother, so this was an aunt by marraige. I remember very little about her. It's a shame when things happen that way. I only have one aunt (blood) left now, and she lives somewhat of a hermit's existance somewhere out in Arizona. I haven't seen here since I was probably six or seven years old. I don't even remember what she looks like. All I know about her is her name and where she lives. Sad, isn't it?
Well, I don't want to end this post on an unhappy note, so I'll say that I am starting to plan a trip t go home to visit the family sometime in February or March. I haven't been home since July. Now is the time to go while gas is still reasonable. I can't wait. I'm thinking that I will surprise my parents this time and only tell my siblings that I'm coming. I can hardly wait.
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