Psychotic Carburetor Trail

Back In The Saddle

2011-03-03T15:38:00.000-08:00

I've been away from blogging for a handful of days. Reason: Work has been a whirwind since I started on the new miion and projects. I have been getting up at 3:30 a.m. every morning for work and getting home between 4:00 and 5:00 p.m. I'm beat every night when I get home.

I got my airline ticket to Hawaii on Saturday. It was not cheap- $1,035. The flights aren't so great either. The flight out leaves at 6:30 a.m.- so early. The flight home is an awful red eye. It leaves Hawaii at 10:00 p.m. their time and gets into Philly at 4:20 p.m. the next day. The silver lining is that the layovers are in Phoenix. It's an easy airport.

I'm looking forward to the weekend but have no real plans. I'll clean house and pay my bills. Saturday it's supposed to get up to 60 degrees, so I'll do some trout fishing in the afternoon. I also need to do some writing over the weekend.

Everyone have a great one.

Tired, Work and Where Is Saturday?

2011-02-22T19:43:00.000-08:00

Tonight finds me tired. I did not want to get off the bed this morning. It snowed like crazy last night on my way home from work, so I forced myself up early to shovel snow. I got up, looked out the window and saw that Billy had shoveled before he went to work. I promptly crawled back into bed for another hour. Even Bosco didn't want to get up and out of the covers this morning. This evening, I spent the last fifteen minutes of my dinner break cat napping. I can't wait to get home and crawl back into bed.

Well, my new assignment restarts on Thursday, so for the next five weeks at least, I will be working the early hours- 6:00 a.m. to 2:30 p.m., which will be quite an adjustment for me. At least I will be doing something that is interesting and a decent change of pace. I will still have to have somewhat of a hand in what happens with my department at night, and that will be the tough part. Also, one of my bosses gave me some new temporary responsibilities without giving me the resources needed to handle them. I'm not sure how I'm going to manage that yet.

I know it's only Tuesday, but I'm already thinking of the weekend. I don't have any plans yet other than a poetry group meeting on Sunday night, but I am still anxiously waiting for it to arrive. I wish we would get another warmish spell so that I could do some early fishing without freezing my tail off. I believe they call it cabin fever, and I'm getting it.

Happy Hump Day tomorrow, everyone.

Catching Up A Bit

2011-02-21T19:36:00.000-08:00

Work on Friday was- different. Training people all day is nothing at all like supervising a department all day. I did hands-on training with three people, and it was interesting. Watching new people learning processes that my employees know by heart gave me some insights into the whole thing. I'm looking forward to more of this. I built the tentative training schedule tonight and if my boss approves it, I'll be doing nothing but training from this Thursday through the end of March. Then we'll see what else he has in store for me.

The weekend was as I predicted. Not much took place. I got home from work by 4:00 (nice!)Friday afternoon. I played around on the computer for a bit and had some dinner. Then I sat down on the couch to watch some TV with Bosco and promptly fell asleep. It was about 7:00. I woke up at 3:30 a.m. and staggered off to bed.

I slept in a bit on Saturday then took my car in for scheduled maintenance. I had an early dinner- take out chinese- and went to Home Depot with Billy to get a few things I needed for around the house like light bulbs and a new furnace filter. After that I recorded and posted my newest poetry podcast (www.ipoet.podbean.com).

Then, things got sort of strange. I sat up for hours listening to music, all different kinds. While playing some old Iggy Pop, Billy, who had been asleep upstairs appeared. I apologized profusely for waking him up, but he said I didn't. He said he was awake and heard the bass line of the song that was playing (Mass Production) and had to come down and see who it was. We spent the next two hours or so listening to music and drinking wine. I introduced Bill to The Idiot and The Roches, among other things.

Billy went back to bed at about 3:00 a.m. and I went to the diner alone for breakfast. I had coffee, pancakes, bacon and orange juice. It really hit the spot. Then I went home and jumped in bed.

Sunday I slept in until noon. I got up and picked up prescriptions at the pharmacy. Then I went to Dick's. I had a $60 gift card that my daughter gave me for Christmas and $50 that my mother sent me for Valentine's. So, I got my fishing license and trout stamp (why wait) and bought a new bait casting rod and reel. I'm all ready now and waiting on the weather. Watch out, largemouth bass. Sunday night was spent watching Animation Domination and talking to family on the phone.

The only bad thing about the weekend really, was the high winds on Saturday and Saturday night- gusts of 40-50 MPH. I hate the wind to begin with, and I was so afraid of the spruce in the front yard falling on the house. Also, I have my canoe and kayak on saw horses and covered with tarps in the back yard. Well, they both went for unexpected trips across the yard in the wind. I also saw later where the wind pushed in the bottom of my shed doors. Nice.

This week brings more overtime. We'll be here until midnight every night this week the way it looks now. It's going to be another long week.

And So The Fun Begins

2011-02-16T17:20:00.000-08:00

On Monday my boss explained a special assignment that he was putting me on that will last the next two months. It involves cross-training every employee in the facility in several different work functions. When I reviewed the moom chart for the project last night I saw a huge task that is very detailed and will take a lot of persistance and dedication on my part. I am looking forward to the change of pace from my regular duties.

Tonight I am to start drawing up a tentative schedule for the project. Today in a one-on-one meeting about something else, talk turned to this project, adn my boss told me that from now on, my skills and talents are going to be used in ways that no one (especially me) ever imagined. That really has me curious.

Later, in a different meeting, he informed me that schedule or not, the project starts Friday. I am to leave work half-night on Thursday night, then come in for the early morning shift on Friday. I am to spend that shift training the fifteen people in their department how to do my department's work. I am also to train their suopervisor on how to do that work the way re do it on my shift.

So, the fun begins quickly. And as a bonus, I'll be home well before dinner time on Friday. Yay.

A Follow Up

2011-02-15T18:54:00.000-08:00

This is a follow up to last night's post. Regarding my bipolar disorder, I have been doing very well for the past four years or so thanks to the therapy and the meds. I am, and have been, very stable. I successfully hold down a job as a manager of people, and overall function as a "normal" human being. I live a fairly regular life and as you can see from my posts, do fairly regular things with my life. I am lucky. I know people with this disorder that can't lead decent lives or are pretty much incapacitated by it.

I have been very lucky to have had the love and support of my friends and my family, excepting of course, my wife. It was a hard illness for my family to fathom. And I'm the last person they would have ever imagined having something like this.

What really keeps my head afloat is not letting the disease (and it is a disease like any other) define me. I am not bipolar. I have bipolar disorder, and there is a difference. I've learned that I am not broken or a freak. I am a human being with an illness of the brain. That's all.

Yes, the meds have changed my personality. I used to be very upbeat, extremely talkative, and the class clown and practical joker, always screaming for attention. Now I am more quiet, subdued. I tend to listen more than talk. I am mild and very laid back. A very good friend has described this me as a "placid pond".

Every morning that I can raise my head off the pillow is a good thing, and I always find something to happy about, something to laugh about, and something to be thankful for, every day.

All Apologies

2011-02-14T19:52:00.000-08:00

My apologies to anyone who read my previous, now-deleted post from earlier this evening. It's just a matter of what today is, and my being alone and feeling shat upon. I didn't mean to come off as bitter. WARNING: The rest of this post could bring you down.

This is always a tough day for me. After I went to hell and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder eight years ago, I got help. I started seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist, and started taking a few different meds. The meds changed my personality quite a bit, and my wife didn't like this. We went to counseling, we saw several different marraige professionals and it always came down to the same thing: My wife wanted the old me back. I was given the ultimatum of either getting off the meds and going back to the old me, or losing her. The problem was the old me had become a dark, manic-depressive insomniac who was cutting nightly and generally riding the crazy train. My old personality was there, but I was out of control.

In the end I chose my sanity. I've paid a very big price for that, and am still paying. I lost my wife of twenty years, whom I love very much. I am lonely constantly. I have no one. Salt on the wound, I pay a ridiculous amount of alimony to, and insurance premiums for her. And there is more, but I won't go into it here and now.

I enjoy my solitary time. When I am fishing, kayaking, biking or hiking I enjoy it very much, and I need it. But I very much miss waking up with someone other than the dog. I miss having someone to share meals with, to go to the movies with, and on and on. I miss intimate proximity and physical affection very much.

On a day like today especially, these things hit home for me. I' more sensitive and feel them more keenly. I think that I deserve someone special, and my big fear is that I will never have one again.

Project Weekend

2011-02-11T17:49:00.000-08:00

Well, tonight finds me sleepy again. It doesn't help that we aren't very busy tonight at work. I hate slow work nights. As mentioned previously, this will be a house cleaning and laundry weekend for me. I also will be producing another poetry podcast and getting it out on the site (ipoet.podbean.com).

I thought I was sleeping in pretty late tomorrow, but as it turns out now, I will be getting up to have my taxes done. This is a good thing, as I figure I will be getting about a $1300 return from federal, and about $350 from the state. Not too shabby. I'll be getting up around 10:30 for that. Maybe a nice afternoon nap will be in order when I get home. Yeah.

Once I get the tax money I will be getting my airline ticket to Hawaii. My daughter is getting married there in May. I already have a place to stay- an aunt's time share which will cost all of $40 for the five or six days I'll be there. My parents and I will be sharing it. I'm glad to see her get married. She is 33, kind, beautiful and has her masters degree. Her fiance is a great guy. We hit it off pretty well right from the start, even though he is an Eagles fan.

Well, that's all for me for now. Everyone have a great weekend.

Mainly About Sleep

2011-02-10T17:40:00.000-08:00

I don't have a whole lot to say tonight except that it's been a long one. We had to work overtime tonight. It's really just a warm up for the next two weeks, in which we will have to work ten hour nights every night. At least I get comp time for anything over 45 hours.

I'm tired tonight, too. I woke up that way. I really had to fight to get up on time today. Most days are like that, and I don't know why. I don't stay up late. I don't spend a lot of time awake in bed or tossing and turning. I fall asleep pretty quick and stay asleep. And I do get enough sleep- on average ten hours a night. Once I've been up for a half an hour I'm fine. I don't feel tired at all. I felt fine all day today until the last half an hour or so. It's just the getting up that kills me.

That said, I'm glad that tomorrow is Friday, because I plan on sleeping in with Bosco on Saturday. I may just not get up until noon or later. I may do the same on Sunday too, if I feel like it.

A famous writer once said, "I'll sleep when I'm dead". Another famous writer once said, "Sleep is my greatest vice". I tend to agree more with the later statement. It suits me better.

Everyone have a nice night. Sleep well...

Where have I been?

2011-02-09T17:12:00.000-08:00

Not to London to see the queen. I've just been really busy at work.

The weekend was also very busy and very good. I got the best reception I've ever gotten at the poetry reading on Friday night. I think that for readings I need to pretty much stick to light and humorous material. It seems to go over better. Afterwards a few of us went to Dunleavey's for a late dinner and a beer. That was nice.

On Saturday I went writing at Borders with R and D. It was good to see them, and I got a few really interesting poetry prompts from R. The party I went to on Saturday night was great. Getting there was awful, though. I was raining. And foggy. Then there was the spray from the tires of the cars in front of me. Lucky, though, the rain stopped by the time I got to Seven Valleys, and soon after, the skies cleared and warmish breezes started to blow. Anyway, it was a hobo themed birthday party and we had beans and weenies to eat, booze in paper bags, and a fire in a big, metal trash can. I had a lot of fun, stayed the night and my clothes all smelled like wood smoke.

Sunday, I went to K's house to watch the football game. My team won, so I was happy. And K's wife made these awesome home-made pizzas and even more awesome brownies with carmel in the middle. Wow.

The only bad news in all of this is that I spent enough money over the weekend that I'll be spending the coming weekend at home. That's probably not totally a bad thing since I do need to clean the house, do laundry and do a few other things. It's also a good thing that the week is going quickly so far. I can't believe that tomorrow is already Thursday.

Had Some Fun

2011-02-03T17:30:00.000-08:00

For lack of something interesting to write about, I offer you a poem. This one was very fun to write. All of the lines are based on lines or phrases from rock songs. I wonder how many people could pick them all out? I hope it gives you a chuckle.

Amalgamated Me

Whenever I look at myself in the mirror
I see that I am not bad to the bone.
I am not working for the weekend,
nor am I going to funky town anytime
soon. I am not a teenage dirt bag, baby.
I am not a goody two-shoes. I do not
whip it good. I’m shattered, shattered.

I don’t want you to destroy my sweater.
You cannot take me to the river,
drop me in the water. I will never be
blinded by the light, wrapped up
like a deuce, another runner in the night.
When the lights go down in the city,
and the sun shines on the bay,
I don’t want to be there in my city.
I tried so hard and got so far,
but in the end it didn’t even matter.

However, let it go, I tell myself—
This too shall pass. I’m a man. I’m the man
in the box. I was born in a small town.
I’m alive in the Super Unknown.
I’ve got the beat. I’m together
with your plan. I’m gonna’ rock this town,
rock it inside out. I’m TNT, I’m dynamite.
I’ll never be no beast of burden.
I’m as free as a bird now,
I believe it’s time for me to fly. I feel
like making love. I just wanna’ make love
to you. Love is all you need. I’ll rock you
like a hurricane. Let the good times roll,
and watch out, here I come.

I Beat It

2011-02-02T17:31:00.001-08:00

Well, when I saw on Monday what the weather forecast was for Tuesday and Tuesday night- a 1/2 inch of freezing rain- I immediately put in for a vacation day for Tuesday. I did not want to spend another night on a cot in the conference room. It was approved, so I was at home yesterday.

In my area, South Jersey, we got nothing but drizzle all day and night. In North Jersey, where work is located, they got the ice storm. So, I made a good move. Today everything warmed up and started melting. By the time I had to go to work today, the roads were just wet. It's been windy all evening and the roads are drying. Yay.

So, yesterday, I slept in until noon. I got up, cleaned up and ran some errands. I also went to the bank and got myself set up with a debit card and account. That's correct, I did not have one before this. After that I ate lunch and spent three hours on the guitar. I plugged the mp3 player into the stereo, put in on shuffle, and tried to learn every song that popped up on the fly. My success rate was about 20 percent- not too bad in my opinion. Then I produced and posted my latest poetry podcast (ipoet.podbean.com) and ate dinner.

Later on the night took a crazy turn. I was playing around on facebook. A friend posted an update that basically said, "comment on how you met me, but don't tell the truth. Make stuff up. Then post this to your profile so I can do the same". Well, I did it, and it just took off. I was suddenly geting lots of comments on my wall and all of my friends were posting the update to their pages, and I was commenting on all of them. It was a lot of fun.

While this was going on, I started drinking red wine. I drained a bottle and a half, and when I was nearly finished, I got into a drunken texting bout with a former lover. It quickly became a train wreck. She didn't know I was drunk- just thought I was being an ass. She called me this afternoon to find out for sure which it was. She was pretty unhappy with me and I feel bad about it.

Anyway, I ended the night hopping into bed about 12:30. I slept great and got up feeling great this morning. Tonight has been a slow night at work. A number of people were given the option of leaving work two hours early. All but one of my employees took advantage of the offer. Tomorrow is going to be even slower. We have plenty of shipments out there, but the storm has delayed everything and slowed things down considerably.

Well, my break is over. Back to work. Good night all.

Saturday Recap

2011-01-29T21:23:00.000-08:00

I got home last night at 11:00 and was in bed reading before midnight. I got up today at 12:00, took my pills and then went back to bed until 2:30, when I was awakened by the phone. It was my ex inviting me to dinner with her and the kids. We went to Benihana's. Man, I love that place. I had two orders of hibachi shrimp, hibachi rice, plus the soup, veggies and salad that come with the meal. Our cook was really good.

Would you believe that I got home around 7:30, sat down in my chair in front of the TV and fell asleep until about 11:00? I am just so tired from the week. Tomorow I have to run some errands, go to the gym, and in the evening, I have the poetry group meeting. I'm sure I'll sleep in some, too.

The weather forecasts are calling for another snow storm on Tuesday or Wednesday. I am so sick of snow, and I see another overnight stay at work in my future.

Some Day (And Night)

2011-01-27T21:59:00.000-08:00

So all of the hotels in the area were booked last night when I called them. I again ended up on my cot in the conference room here at work for the night. I slept alright, sort of. I've had better sleeps. I'm now so used to having Bosco cuddled up beside me in the bed that I really missed it last night.

Today has been the day from hell. My boss picked me to supervise in Shipping this afternoon and evening. I haven't worked in that department in years. It's been rough. I was basically on my feet and running from 1:30 p.m. until 11:30 tonight. I'm exhausted. It's 1:00 a.m. and I'm still here. I have to work until 2:00. I'll get home a little after 3:00 and I have to be back in here at 1:00 p.m. tomorrow for another twelve hours. Maybe this is payback for taking Monday off. I need the weekend.

I have no plans for the weekend except for a poetry group meeting on Sunday night. I plan on sleeping in very late on Saturday morning. I'll pay my bills and hit the grocery store and gym in there somewhere.

Billy should have gotten to Miami safely this morning. I haven't even had a chance to call him to make sure. He'll probably be there working for another two or three week stint this time.

Everyone have a great Friday.

A Real Mess

2011-01-26T16:40:00.000-08:00

Well, we are really getting hit. This snow storm has not acted like the forecasts said it would. We had several inches on the ground already when I got up at 9:00 this morning. It was not supposed to start until lunch time. By the time I left for work at 11:00 we had 6-7 inches on the ground and it was coming down heavier. It never turned to rain like it was supposed to in the afternoon. It turned to drizzle, then little iceballs that fell constantly until 7:00, when it started snowing again. It's almost 8:00 and everything is aslippery, icy mess.

The good news is I came prepared to stay over again. The better news is my boss got me approval to stay tonight at a hotel around the corner from work. That will be nice. My son is at home and taking care of Bosco for me. For now, I'm here with about ten of our employees who did not want to leave work early. When we are done, I'll head over to the hotel, shower and watch some TV before hitting the sack. We are really supposed to get dumped on with the snow overnight, so it's a good thing I will be very close.

2011-01-25T17:18:00.000-08:00

The weekend was good. I did everything I said I was going to do in my Friday post, just the way I said I was going to do it. The Saturday afternoon nap was great, except I had some pretty weird dreams. And I was really happy with the new books I found at Barnes & Noble.

I wasn't feeling that well yesterday, so I took the day off of work. It wasn't a problem, as I have plenty of vacation and comp time built up. I stayed in bed until aobout 2:30 in the afternoon. I got up and layed around on the couch with Bosco.

Well, we are in for some more snow tomorrow night. They are saying 6-10 inches will fall tomorrow night while I am at work and there will be sleet and ice mixed in. I may just spend the night at work again. I haven't totally decided yet. It would probably be for the best if I did.

I have to find a good clothing repair place. I spend most of the winter wearing my Perry Ellis leather coat. I think it's called a car coat. I've had it for years and it's my favorite coat. While I was getting ready to leave work on Friday night the zipper broke on it. Now I'm wearing my old navy pea coat, which fits a bit snug. I'm wondering what having a new zipper that long sewn into a leather coat will cost me. It sounds like something that would take some doing. I have no clue about these things.

I hope that everyone is having a good night.

Some Down Time

2011-01-21T16:17:00.000-08:00

Well, the weekend is here, and I am dog tired thanks to the overtime. It doesn't help much that it is freezing cold outside, like in the low 20s with wind. And the weather reports say this will continue, and we will have another, bigger snow storm on Tuesday or Wednesday. The spring just can't come soon enough for me. Anyway, I really need the down time right now.

I have my plans for tomorrow. First, I will get up to take my dog to the vet at 11:30. Then, a nice nap. After that I'll work on my next poetry podcast, which is long overdue at this point in time. In between I'll be playing around on the computer, facebook mainly, and trying to get my printer issue resolved. For some reason, when I print a page, it only prints every fourth line and leaves three empty lines between every one it prints. Strange. For dinner I think I'll try and get Billy, my son or both to go to the diner with me for "breakfast for dinner".

I have no plans for Sunday other than going to the gym and to dinner with the kids. Maybe some football on TV. I'm sure I'll sleep in, too. I do need a new book or two, so maybe I'll hit up Barnes & Noble on my way to dinner.

The weekends always go way too quick for me. I need a three or four day weekend. Maybe next week. Have a good one.

Pound Sand?

2011-01-20T16:25:00.000-08:00

Just when we had a couple of days in the mid-thirties and the snow was starting to melt away, we are getting more. Another 3-5 inches tonight, and of course, it is supposed to start around the time I get off work. My car is just no good in the snow. I don't know if it's the aerodynamics of it or what, but it is terrible. The car looks like a box, and drives like a box in the snow. I'm not as afraid of going off the road as I am of hitting someone or something. I can't afford to be paying out that $250 deductible right now.

Work has been pretty crazy the last few weeks- very busy- lots of meetings and projects going on and just general mayhem. I'm hoping it settles down some next week. Our incoming shipments will taper back off to normal next week, so hopefully everything else calms down with it. January always seems to be about the busiest month of the year for us.

Do you ever wonder where certain sayings come from? I was wondering today about telling someone to "pound sand". I wonder who the first person was to say it, and what exactly the circumstances were. Just something else to ponder in the dark when I can't sleep, I guess.

Rough Day?

2011-01-19T17:40:00.000-08:00

I'm working overtime again tonight. I am so tired, but we have things to accomplish here that we can't get done in eight hours. People don't necessarily like it, but as an old manager of mine is fond of saying, it is what it is.

I was so tired this morning- I set my alarm to get up an hour earlier than usual so that I could run a couple of errands before work. That didn't happen. I slapped that old snooze bar countless times during that hour. I got up at my regular time and spent the next two hours rushing around. I think that Bill gets annoyed when I do that with the alarm, but he doesn't say anything. He's a good sport and a good friend.

I got really pissed off at the clerk at the neighborhood 7-11 today. I stopped for coffee on my way rushing to work. I gave him a twenty. He handed me back a single and some coins. Long story short, he short-changed me big time and refused to admit it. I know I was right. I walked in there with only three twenties in my wallet. We argued in front of waiting customers, some of whom stood there shaking their heads. I won't be going back there anytime soon. I don't ever need an $18 cup of coffee.

Some Boss Talk

2011-01-18T18:53:00.000-08:00

Tonight is one of those nights when I have people at work mad at me. I have one lady who works for me who is upset because my boss and I had to give her a final written warning this afternoon for lack of productivity. One guy who works for me is mad at me because I wouldn't let him work just one hour of overtime tonight instead of the mandatory two that everyone is expected to work. Another guy is mad at me because of a situation with a workplace injury that I won't go into here.

These things are all part and parcel of being a supervisor, so they don't bother me. Here's why: You are supposed to be many things to the people who work for you: leader, provider of tools and supplies, cheerleader, traffic director, defender, planner and also fellow employee. What you are not supposed to be is a friend. Trying to do that can get you into a lot of trouble. Yes, you can be pleasant, open, even friendly, but you are not the employee's friend, and vice versa. There is a certain fine line there that should not be crossed in the relationship between employee and boss.

It's always easy to spot supervisors or managers do cross that line and try to be a friend to their employees. You will hear others complain about them playing favorites. You will hear or witness that they have an inability to be fair, impartial and consistent in making all kinds of decisions.

I always try to be a good boss in that I am firm but also fair and consistent. I feel that I would do my employees (and the company) a disservice by conducting myself in any other way. I believe that we have a big responsibility as members of management to everyone we come into contact with at work to be the best we can be at all times.

Fried Egg

2011-01-14T16:53:00.000-08:00

I'm glad the weekend is here. It's been a long, stressful work week. Tonight has been just as hectic as last night. I have the same old complaint as everyone else, though: the weekends go by too quickly. Something is not right when I've been back from vacation for two weeks and am wishing I could take another one already. Of course, I do have a couple of days of comp time I could burn off. That would be nice.

It is sincerely cold in every part of this building. Tonight the thermometer says it is 63.4 degrees in here. I agree with trying to be green, and save on the heating bills, but I think this is too much. At home, I pretty much keep the thermostat at 70 degrees all year and I do just fine. My son must not agree with me on that though, since he put Bosco's sweater on him yesterday. Laying on my bed last night in that sweater with the heated mattress pad going, that dog was panting half the night. The sweater will be coming off tonight before bed, I think.

I'm getting ready to refinance my house to get a better rate. I always hate dealing with things like this. The paperwork stuff is almost overwhelming to me. It was the same when I went through the legal separation with my ex. It was the same when I first bought the house. I'm just not good with all the legal nonsense. I'm just hoping the whole thing goes through quickly and smoothly.

Everyone have a great weekend. Enjoy the time.

Crazy

2011-01-13T19:17:00.000-08:00

It's been one of those kind of evenings. Things at work have been batshit busy from the word "go" tonight. I'm glad there are only two more hours of this insanity to go. The good news is we are getting caught up, so we will probably not have to work overtime tomorrow night. No one likes having to work overtime on Fridays because they all want to get to the bar after work. The other news is that next week will be a repeat of this week. This continuing pattern is a sign that the economy is picking up, at least as far as the automotive industry is concerned.

Believe it or not, my kids, my ex and I have not yet exchanged Christmas presents. This is due to my being in Ohio over the holidays, and their busy schedules since then. We will be doing this on Saturday afternoon. You may think it's odd for my ex and I to exchange gifts, but we are on good terms and I'd like to see it stay that way for the kid's sakes.

I got a good deal for hotel stay while I'm in Hawaii for my daughter's wedding in May. An aunt of mine has a time share on the same island as the wedding, and my parents and I are getting to use it. It is going to cost a grand total of $40 for the three of us for the four day's stay. Now I should be so lucky in procuring an airline ticket. I hear that Travelocity has a 50% off sale going on right now. Sounds too good to be true. I'll have to check it out.

I'm more than a little interested in this Ted Williams character. First he's a homeless guy with a "golden voice". Then he is on the news and gets several job offers, one with a house included, which he takes. Then he is reunited with is long lost mother. Then he and a daughter get picked up by the cops in some sketchy domestic dispute thing at a hotel. Eight more kids pop up out of the woodwork. Now he is apparently in or going to rehab for drugs and alcohol. I almost can't wait to see what happens next with him. He's certainly more interesting than Snooki.

Incidentally, I find Jersey Shore to be a complete sham. It is no real reflection on, and has nothing whatever to do with, what I have in the past 22 years come to find as a wonderful place to live.

All Done

2011-01-12T15:15:00.000-08:00

The snow is all over. I'm glad I spent the night at work. The snow was coming down fast and thick and was pretty slippery by the time I went to sleep. I wasn't bored. I spent the time after everyone else went home watching Family Guy episodes on Hulu on my laptop. The cot was pretty comfortable, and I actually got pretty warm in the sleeping bag. It was a bit sweaty when I got up this morning.

No state of emergency was called and everyone actually made it in on time this morning. The only bad thing was I got woken up at 6:30 a.m. by one of my fellow supervisors for some operational thing. Luckily I was able to go back to sleep right away. it took a bit of doing to get my car dug out this morning. Since I was parked overnight I got plowed in.

Tonight my boss has told me to go home at 6:30 p.m. since I was here all night. I am gladly going. It will be good to sleep in my own bed with my heated mattress pad and Bosco!

Yes It Is...

2011-01-11T18:45:00.000-08:00

...coming down like crazy right now, and it is slippery. I made the right decision in staying here overnight. My boss thinks that the township here is going to call a state of emergency before morning, in which case we will be closed tomorrow Wednesday. It will just be me here and the security guard. If that happens I'm not even going to try to travel home until after the evening rush hour time.

I got a nice long email from my good friend Natalie tonight. It was really good to hear from her. Her emails always lift my spirits. She is from here in NJ, but is currently loving life out in California. It's nice to see people you like happy.

Not much else is happening here. I'll post again tomorow morning to let you all know how bad it actually gets overnight.

And Still More Snow

2011-01-10T18:53:00.000-08:00

We are supposed to get hit again tomorrow night with another 7-14 inches according to NOAA. The roads are supposed to be pretty bad so I don't plan on driving the 50 miles home in it. I'm going to stay overnight at work. I'll bring a change of clothes, towel, toiletries, sleeping bag and pillow. I'll sleep on a cot in the conference room. I have had to do this before, so no big deal. I'll just spend the day on Wednesday before my shift reading and watching TV shows on Hulu on my work laptop. Yes, I have two laptops.

The weekend was a 50/50 proposition. On Saturday I slept in until noon. I got up and went to Rachel and Donna's. It was snowing. We exchanged Christmas gifts. They made me some really cool tree ornaments, which I have put away for coming years. After that, Rachel and I went to Borders to write. We were there until about dinner time. The snow had stopped by then. We went to Dunleavy's for dinner and Donna met us there. After dinner I went home and played with Bosco, watched some TV and dinked around on facebook. I went to bed and fell asleep while reading.

Sunday was the sucky day. I got up and thoroughly cleaned the house. I went to the grocery store. I did several loads of laundry, including the folding. I paid my bills. The only good part was I had a nice conversation on the phone with SWG for a while. In the evening I tried to watch the Eagles/Packers playoff game, but couldn't stay awake. I drifted in and out of sleep in my chair. I had a late dinner of tacos, then talked to my parents on the phone for a while before going to bed.

This week, it's mandatory overtime every night due to very heavy work volume. Between that and the snow storms, I will be more than ready for this coming weekend when it hits.

More White Stuff

2011-01-07T17:43:00.000-08:00

Well, we got the three inches of snow early this morning. Luckily, the roads were all clear by the time I had to leave for work. We are supposed to get another three to five late tomorrow morning or early afternoon. I'm supposed to go to R's house to hang out and to Borders to write later in the afternoon, so I hope it's not too bad. We'll see what the weather actually brings.

Next week we could get another snow storm on Tuesday or Wednesday. I'm hoping not, especially since I have to work overtime every night next week.

Other activities for this weekend include paying my bills and taking down the Christmas decorations and the tree. I always hate doing that. It's sad. I do leave the wreath on the front door until about March, though.

I can't wait to get out of work tonight and home. I just want to crawl back into bed with my new heated mattress pad. I've felt like this all day, just lazy.

Everyone have a great weekend.

Have You Ever?

2011-01-06T16:19:00.000-08:00

I'm feeling terrible right about now. I'm just realizing that I forgot to call my mother on her birthday, which was Tuesday. I'm sure she is hurt or at the very least disappointed. I know I just saw her on Saturday, but still. I just got so tied up and side-tracked with work issues this week that it got away from me. No excuse, I know. Have you ever done this? I never have before. I'm always good about remembering people's birthdays. I'm going to call her tonight after work, fess up to being a first-class jerk-off and hope she forgives me.

I have to call my doctor's office tomorrow. My blood sugar levels are higher than usual and I can't figure out why. I've changed nothing with my diet or exercise routine, and nothing has changed with my meds. It makes no sense to me. In the almost two years since I was diagnosed with type II diabetes I have done very well with the numbers. In fact I have done so well that six months ago my doctor reduced the dosage on my meds by half. Now this suddenly happens, and I do mean suddenly. I can pinpoint the exact date that they started to be higher. They aren't dangerously high, or even close to it, but they are elevated above what they had been.

And weird things are happening with the numbers. Tuesday the numbers were higher than normal. Yesterday I ate exactly the same things for each meal as Tuesday and exercised the same amount, and the numbers were lower. Strange.

Anyway, we are supposed to get another snow tomorrow. One prediction is 1-3 inches. Another is four. Another is up to nine. I don't know who to believe. I think I'll check out the NOAA web site, as they always seem to be the most accurate. Of course, I hope we get the 1-3, since it's supposed to hit here while I am at work. I do not want to have to drive home in more than a few inches of snow in my car, which is more like a sled in the stuff.

Everyone have a great Friday. I can't believe the weekend is almost here already.

Hello Again

2011-01-05T16:36:00.000-08:00

It's been a long time. I am back here temporarily, as KCL is having problems, and I really need to blog.

Where to start? Well, the holidays were good to me. I went to Ohio to spend the time with my family there. I drove out on the night of the 21st and stayed until the night of the 1st. I like driving at night like that. There is very little traffic to deal with, I can fly down the freeway, and I like that. I was nowhere online during the holidays. I didn't blog, and only got on facebook once for a short while one night. I came back from the trip with lots to write about, only to find KCL down again. That was dissappointing.

My son moved back into the house with me the weekend before I left for Ohio. I'm glad to have him home, but he was not happy at all about having to move back in with me. He liked having his own place, which is understandable, and he is upset about the break-up with his girlfriend of three years. I try my best to leave him alone and stay out of his way so that I don't annoy him.

Speaking of girlfriends, I still don't have one and would still like to have one. I gave up on the dating web site I was on. I think I may never find what I am looking for in a woman. If I did who knows if she would even have me? At this point I'd even take a "friend with privileges". It's hard fighting the lonelies all the time. I have become one of those people who can feel lonely in a room full of people. I wish that wasn't so.

I found out yesterday that my work hours may change drastically in the near future. I won't bore you with the details, but after three plus years on the night shift I could very well find myself suddenly on the early morning shift- 6:00 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. With my hour commute, I would have to get up at 4:00 a.m. at the latest every morning. That's rough for someone like me who is definately not a morning person. Sure, it would be nice to be home at 3:30 or 4:00 every afternoon, but I'd be so tired by then. Oh well, nothing I can do about it but deal with it if and when it happens.

I hope that everyone has had a happy Hump Day.

Moved

2009-08-23T10:58:00.000-07:00

In case you didn't get it in my last post, I have moved. I am now at:

http://knifeboy.keepconnectedlive.com

Sorry, But...

2009-08-14T21:42:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry I haven't posted in the last three days. I had to work overtime and have not been getting home until 3:00 AM, and have therefore needed to get right to bed. I hope I didn't concern anyone by my lack of presence here.

Well, I have taken the dive and gone to Keep Connected Live. What pushed this decision for me was that all but two of my on line friends from JS and Blogger have moved there. I greatly missed connecting and keeping up with these people. I will still come here to read up on the friends of mine who are still here, but I will be doing all of my posting there from now on. I truly hope this doesn't upset anyone.

Aloha.

Money Sucks

2009-08-10T22:02:00.001-07:00

I only say that because there is not enough of it around and handy this month. First, my mortgage payment must have gotten hung up in the mail last month, because this month I have a late charge assessed. First time in twenty two years that's happened. Then, the day before I went on vacation I got stopped by Jersey's finest for going 82 in a 65 zone on the freeway on my way to work. That's a $160 fine. Then there is the rest of the bills. I will have to take money out of savings to cover, which hurts but is unavoidable. It almost makes me wish I hadn't spent what I did on vacation.

Work was very hectic this evening. It was busy, and I have to cover two departments while one of the other supervisors is out on vacation for two weeks. I had forgotten all about that. And with being out for two weeks, I had 432 emails waiting for me. Unreal. Believe it or not, I got through all of them. The best email was from my little sister, who is a navy nurse stationed at Camp Lejeun (SP?). I love hearing from her, which is not often enough.

Tonight and tomorrow morning both promise thunderstorms, severe at times. Lovely. I really need to get that grass cut. Anyway, everyone have a great week...

I'm So Lonely...

2009-08-09T19:23:00.000-07:00

...and I'm sick of it. The lady I have been communicating with on Tagged has not messaged me in over a week- ever since I asked her if she would like to meet in person. I'm about ready to start hitting the bars, as much as I hate that idea. I'm about ready to cave in and hit one of the other dating web services.

On nights like tonight it is especially hard to take. The house seems too big and empty and quiet. I go to bed at night and every little sound seems greatly amplified. Having the dogs here doesn't help much. Neither does talking to family on the phone. Nor does posting here, as I rarely get comments anymore. Facebook helps some when I am on it, though, I will admit. I miss all the nights I used to spend on Journalspace, talking away with a miriad of on line friends. But, no use mourning that loss anymore.

When will I meet that special someone? When will my moment come? I am tired of waiting.

Back Home Again

2009-08-08T17:40:00.000-07:00

Well, I am back home as of about 5:00 this evening. Last night we had a big blow-out fish fry at my sister's house. There were about twenty people there. We swam, ate, drank, talked and sat by a nice bon fire. I was tired this morning after that, but I nonetheless hit the road about 9:30 this morning. I made good time, and the dogs were well behaved in the car.

I got home to realize that the house was not as clean as I thougth, so I have spent all evening cleaning and doing laundry. I'm about done now, though, so time to rest. Tomorrow I have to cut the grass that has grown tall the last two weeks, and pull the five foot high weeds that have sprouted in the garden. And there are a lot of vegetables to harvest.

Tomorrow night is dinner at my daughter's house, then early to bed to get ready for the work week.

Happy Saturday, everyone. It's good to be home.

Fish And More Fish

2009-08-03T12:52:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm back from the fishing trip, and I am tired and sunburned. My sunscreen did not seem to work all that well, at least not on my forehead. The being tired part comes just from being on a boat for two days in rough water- 2-3 foot waves in open water are a bit much when you are in a twenty-one foot boat. We did pretty well as far as the expedition itself went. We caught 7 large walleye and a limit of perch on both days. For those of you who don't know, a limit is 50 perch for two people, so we caught 100 total in the two days. We are going to have one big fish fry on Friday night.

Last night, to celebrate the end of the trip we had a good dinner at my sister's house, and watched Coldplay in concert on VH1 and the movie Role Models, a very funny flick. This morning we all went to the Columbus Zoo. It was fun, and I took a lot of good photos of the animals and sea creatures. Tonight is a 30th birthday dinner for my nephew at a fancy Italian place by the river. Tomorrow I am going to do something with my brother, I'm not sure what. We tentatively have the state fair penciled in for Thursday. No plans for Wednesday or Friday yet.

I will be making the drive home on Saturday. That way I have Sunday to clean house a bit, cut the grass and work in the garden, weather permitting. I also need some time to just sort of "recover" from vacation. I have to get my brain back in the game before I head back to work on Monday.

Everyone have a great week.

More Fun

2009-07-31T14:21:00.000-07:00

The last few days have been good. There has been shopping, going to the movies, eating out, fishing, swimming, more kayaking, visiting with family and of course, playing with the dogs. The trip to the conservatory was awesome and I got a lot of photos of the Chihuly glass artwork that was on display. Tonight we are going to the Dublin Irish Festival to eat, drink and be festive in a Irish sort of way. I forgot to bring my kilt, so I won't be wearing it for the occasion.

Tomorrow I am going fishing at Lake Erie with my brother-in-law. We will likely be staying overnight and fishing on Sunday, too. Assuming that we make a decent catch, we will be having a fish fry on Sunday evening. We will be going after walleye and smallmouth bass.

Next week is the state fair, hiking, more kayaking, more fishing and a huge picnic/cook out complete with bonfire. I will also be getting together with my old school chum, Terry, at some point to relive the glory days for a few hours. What's that Andy Warhol said- There's nothing as pathetic as an aging hipster? Yeah, right.

Everyone have a really great weekend. I know I will.

And So It Starts

2009-07-28T18:35:00.000-07:00

I got here alright, no problems with the dogs or with the kayak on the roof of the car. It's been pretty busy since I got here. Saturday night I went with my niece and her husband to a pro soccer game- The Columbus Crew. It was their final game of the season and it was an exciting win against Toronto. I had not been to one of these games before, and it was fun- a lot better than watching it on television.

Sunday was zip lining, and we had a great time at it. I think it was more fun this time than it was the first time. The course was a bit different as they had lost some trees in the fall due to storms.

Yesterday started with a nice leisurely breakfast on my parent's large, screened-in front porch. Then we took the kayak and canoe to a local lake and went paddling, followed by lunch in the park shelter house. After that we went swimming at my sister's house and she grilled out for us. I fell asleep in the pool in a float chair and got a sunburn on my face, chest and legs.

Today it was another leisurely breakfast, and then I got together with my brother. We went shopping at sporting goods stores, then had lunch at a favorite local bar. I took a nice afternoon nap on the porch swing, and then my mother made my favorite dinner- salmon cakes, beans, mac and cheese, and salad.

Tomorrow we are all going to the city to the arboretum (sp?) as it is supposed to rain all day. If it does not rain we will be seining in the creek in the morning first. I'll probably get some fishing in at the pond, also.

That's all for now. Everyone have a great hump day!

Friday By The Numbers

2009-07-24T08:17:00.000-07:00

1. Ready, set, go! I think I will be leaving for Ohio tonight after all. I just can't wait to get going. Getting the kayak tied up on the car in the dark may be a pain in the ass, but I'll deal with it. The dogs will be funny. They won't know what is going on. I will post while I'm gone, but not every day.

2. Welcome to Blogger, Natalie. You look great with the contacts. Did I say great? How about stunning? You can blush now.

3. It rained a lot last night, and that made things very humid for today. The sun is coming out now, and it's going to be a scorcher. It's only eleven and I already have the fans running. Finally, some real Jersey July weather. I have fans. Heh.

4. I got the grass cut this morning. Stepped in a lot of yard bombs, though. If you have dogs, you know all too well about yard bombs.

5. Work has been very busy the last few days, and the boss is project crazy. We have an executive visit coming up, and we are spending mad hours cleaning in the warehouse. I have to tackle both of my desks tonight- I have one in the office, and one in my actual department in the warehouse.

6. Everyone have a really great weekend. Happy Friday!

Thursday Stuff

2009-07-23T07:55:00.000-07:00

It is raining pretty hard right now. And it is supposed to rain more tonight, with a chance of it tomorrow. It's not looking good as far as me getting my grass cut before I leave on vacation. I do not want to come back to knee high grass.

I'm thinking that I may just leave sometime tomorrow night after work. I like driving the turnpike at night because there is very little traffic to deal with, and few cops, too.

I'm looking forward to seeing my best friend from school, Terry. We have been close friends since 6th grade. That's almost forty years. That's the longest relationship of any kind that I have ever had. I'm so glad that we have stayed in touch all of these years. Terry can always get me laughing, without fail.

Today I have a conference call with the company nurse. This is a new program our HR department at work has dreamed up. They keep track of your general health- your blood pressure, eating and exercise habits, and all kinds of stuff. I suppose it's a good thing, but it feels like prying. They try to get you to eat better, exercise more and so on. They are like a health coach. The company is trying to use preventative medicine and actions to help lower their health care/insurance costs. They have put in a bunch of voluntary and manditory programs, all tied to how much money they provide to you for health care, and it's getting very confusing to keep track of it all.

Well, I'm off to read some blogs. Have a good Thursday. Come on Friday!

Squirmin'

2009-07-22T08:28:00.000-07:00

Okay, I'm getting antsy for vacation to start. I'm 95 % packed up already. The house is reasonably cleaned. I put a "stop delivery" on my mail. I just have to throw a couple more things in the suitcase and cut my lawn and I'm ready to go. I'll be biting my nails between now and Friday night.

I have been looking at my windows on the house, and once I get back from vacation, I really need to clean them on the outside. There is this dirty film on them. This is not a job I relish. Most of my windows are older and do not tilt inside for cleaning. I will have to go outside with a bucket of suds and the hose and the ladder to handle it.

I got pretty mad at work last night, which doesn't happen very often. I stopped an employee (not one of mine) who was doing something unsafely. That's part of my job as safety administrator for the facility. Well, this employee just blew me off and kept on doing what he was doing. I got pissed, told his supervisor about it, then wrote him up. I was wound about this most of the evening. It's funny how people want respect but don't want to give it to people in positions of authority. You don't have to like me, but you do have to respect the authority of the position I hold. Anyway, I'm over it now.

I'm so glad it's hump day. Everyone have a great Wednesday!

2009-07-21T08:01:00.000-07:00

Well, this is new. I'm not used to being up in the morning, let alone on the computer and posting. I've been up since 9:00 AM doing things. I'm trying to turn over a new leaf as far as getting up in the morning and getting things done. Especially this week. There is a lot to do for me to get ready for my trip: packing, laundry, cleaning the house so I don't have to do it when I get back. I have to go to the post office to fill out a form to get the mail stopped for the two weeks.

Now that I am back online, I am also back to corresponding with the lady from Tagged that I am interested in dating. Very soon I will ask her if she is interested in meeting in person. She only lives about forty minutes from here. I hope she says yes. I feel pretty confident about this one.

Last night work was very slow, and I was bored to death. As usual, since there was no work in my department, all of my people worked in other departments, and I finished all my paperwork in the first hour I was there. I spent the rest of the night on the net reading informational articles about kayaking. And I got paid for that. Heh.

Well, I'd better get busy with a couple of things here. I'll probably post more this evening.

Back From The Dead

2009-07-20T12:32:00.001-07:00

Hey, I'm back! I'm sorry I was gone but it couldn't be helped. The company locked us out of almost all internet access last Wednesday, so I could not get back here until I got internet service installed at home, which happened this afternoon.

I went camping this weekend with Rachel and some other friends in the Pine Barrens. We had a good time, and the weather was really nice- not too warm, not too cool. I love being out in the woods. We are making plans to go again next month sometime.

I'm hoping that this week goes really quick, since I leave on vacation on Saturday morning. It will be a long drive to Ohio, but I will be really glad to get there. I will be really busy right of the bat, too. Early on Saturday evening I will be attending a Columbus Crew soccer game. I've never been to a pro soccer game before. After that we are going to a bar to see my sister-in-law's son's band play. On Sunday I will visit my brother in the morning, then in the afternoon we are going zip lining. After that, It's a barbeque. All that in just the first day and a half.

Well, I'd better get off to work now. More later...

Medical Stuff and Poetry

2009-07-14T14:31:00.000-07:00

I got up late this morning and missed my 11:00 appointment with the psychiatrist. I don't know why I was so tired. Maybe it was because I stayed up reading a poetry book after I got home from work. I had to reschedule and now I have to go tomorrow even earlier- 9:00. I'm going to have a hell of a time getting up for that.

I talked to my other doctor on the phone and he still doesn't know what is causing my anemia. I have to go for more blood tests in September, after which he will decide whether or not to change some of my meds. He says that one of them is know to have a side effect where it does something to the bone marrow which causes blood to not be generated correctly. I wish I knew and could get this solved and behind me. Besides the health worry, I have already to spend about $1,200 out of pocket so far on this beyond what my insurance didn't pay. That really puts a squeeze on me.

*****

I'm not a dumb guy. I am college educated and am a constant reader. But I have to admit that there is some poetry I just don't get. I will read poems by someone who is considered to be pretty damned good, and I just won't understand. What they write doesn't make sense to me. I don't think it's me. I think that they write too abstractly or are making really bizarre or off the wall references and connections, and I just don't get where they are coming from. It makes me feel stupid in a way, and I don't like that feeling.

Now, I could fake it and write like that, but I would be hard pressed to explain what I meant by what I wrote if I was asked, and at some point I would be asked. I just couldn't do that. I guess I am relegated to writing poems that anyone could pick up and read and understand without any explaination or preface given. And I'm actually happy with writing that way. In fact, I prefer it that way.

Good For Me

2009-07-13T14:32:00.000-07:00

My extended weekend was a good one. I relaxed a lot and did some fun things. On Thursday I slept in a bit, paid my bills and cut the grass. In the evening I went to the poetry group meeting, which was fun. Besides the poetry stuff I just had a good time visiting with everyone.

Friday I slept in again, and went out fishing on the kayak. It was nice because, being a work day, there was no one out on the lake besides me. I didn't catch anything this time, but it was still fun. In the evening I went to the poetry reading. Rachel gave a very good reading and we had a decent turnout. The after party at Dunlevey's was good as always- great company and good food and drink. I was especially entertained by hearing Anna's husband and another writer talking about all the concerts and shows they had seen in England in their younger days in the 70s and 80s.

Saturday was more sleeping in, until about 1:00 PM this time. Then I had Kendall over to work on finishing up the recording on our poetry CD, which we did complete. Now I just have to mix down the tracks and order them. Kendall will be working on the cover while I do that. In the evening there was a huge thunderstorm which lasted several hours. There was a lot of lightning, and once it hit in the street right in front of my house. It was so loud and unexpected that both the dogs and I jumped when it hit.

Sunday I slept in once again, then went on an eight mile bike ride in the Pine Barrens at Wharton State Forest. That was a nice ride, but it was kind of hot. After that I installed the new flotation system in my kayak, which came in the mail on Saturday. Then I went to my son's apartment for dinner. He and his girlfriend really don't cook, so we ordered out from a good Italian place. When I got home from there I talked to family members on the phone and spent some time loading songs onto the mp3 player that I had ripped off of some CDs.

This week will seem like a long week since the last two have been short ones for me. It will be busy at work, though, so that helps the time pass. This coming weekend I have a camping trip to go on, then it's time to start getting ready to go on vacation, which I have been very much looking forward to the last few weeks.

Well, I'm off to read some blogs now. Happy Monday everyone.

Lost A Limb

2009-07-08T14:12:00.000-07:00

Well, I feel like I lost a limb, anyway. I just lost touch with a whole bunch of people- my company blocked access to facebook today. I have to stop screwing around and get some cheap internet service at home. It's just difficult right now with the pay cut/manditory furlough days in effect at work. That and having to try to save for my daughter's wedding. Damned economy. I wish it would hurry up and get better already.

Well, I'm off the next two nights, and I'm looking forward to it. But, duty before pleasure- I have to cut my grass and write out my bills tomorrow before anything else happens. Friday I will again try my hand at the kayak fishing. It will be nice to go when there is no one else out on the lake. I have no idea yet what I will read at the poetry reading on Friday night. I usually try to read newer stuff, but I'm feeling like my latest batch of writing is a bit weak. I'll figure it out. There is lots of stuff I have not read in public that I can draw from.

Everyone have a great weekend...

2009-07-07T14:07:00.000-07:00

I don't have much to say today. It's a nice day outside, I feel pretty good, but nothing of note has happened. Nothing bad has happened to me or anyone I know. Maybe that's enough, you know?

No news on the romantic front. I'm waiting to get a message back from my current on line prospect. I really hope that this turns into something. She seems so nice, and I need someone nice with whom to share my time and attention. Keep your fingers crossed for me, please.

With being off at the end of the week, today is my Thursday. I'm happy about that. I'm kind of antsy for the day to be over, though. I don't know why- no real reason that I can think of at the moment. And it's not like tomorrow will be so great from what I know right now. My work day will start off with being involved in a conference call where the corporate manager and director of my division yell at everyone for an hour or so about any little thing they can find to go off about. Fun, fun.

Well, I'm off to read the blogs...

Countdown

2009-07-06T14:10:00.000-07:00

I had a pretty good weekend considering that I spent it alone. I fished and kayaked. I grilled out. I ran my new weed whacker in the yard. I puttered around the house. In the evenings I sat on the back patio and listened to the radio or watched movies, and drank beer. I managed to get drunk both Friday and Saturday nights. That helped. I was a little buzzed last night for a while. The night time is the hardest when I have the lonelies.

I take back what I said on Friday about the online connections sites. Why? Because I've started getting replies on Tagged from the one person that I was really interested in, which is encouraging. She has an interesting profile, is pretty, has a great smile, is more my age, and lives less than an hour from me. It's a good start, I think.

Well, I know it's only Monday, but I'm counting down the days to the weekend already. And for me the weekend starts on Wednesday night this week, as I have Thursday and Friday nights off work for poetry related events. I don't think I've worked a full week in about four weeks now. I love it.

Come on Wednseday...

Thursday By The Numbers

2009-07-02T14:02:00.000-07:00

1. I have been pretty active on Tagged lately. I have sifted through hundreds and hundreds of profiles and have only found two prospects sort of close to home. One I'm really interested in for a number of reasons. Neither are responding to me. I'm beginning to think that the whole on line connections thing is a grand waste of time.

2. My poem Dust is published in the current issue of the on line poetry journal Thick With Conviction. I'm pretty happy about that. It's a really decent journal, and I feel honored to be in there again.

3. I got my house cleaned last night, so I only have to do yard work tomorrow. I also got pretty drunk while cleaning. I had four beers and five or six shots from the remains of a $50 bottle of tequila. At one point I was making the dogs dance with me to Billy Idol's Dancing With Myself, which was blasting from the mp3 player. I woke up half on the loveseat in the middle of the night, all the doors and windows open and the rain coming in. Yes, it rained again. A nice early start to the weekend.

4. I had a bit of sad news today. A friend of mine who was the bassist in a blues band I was in a handful of years ago passed away suddenly. He was a year younger than I am. Too young to go. He was a very talented musician and guitar technician, and an electrical engineer. I will miss you a bunch, Steve.

5. I have no idea what I am doing for dinner tonight. My cupboards are currently bare in terms of stuff I could bring to work without cooking ahead of time, which I have no time for usually. I may just order a shrimp basket or chicken tenders from the restaurant around the corner.

6. I just saw a roach crawling up the wall across from my desk. This is not a good thing to be seeing. I'd swear it is staring at me right now, the little monster.

7. Everyone have a great holiday weekend. Fire up those barbeques!!

Ugh

2009-07-01T14:00:00.000-07:00

Here we are coming up on a long holiday weekend, and I have no plans except cleaning the house, doing yardwork, grocery shopping and paying the bills. Sure, I'll probably go to the gym, do some fishing and kayaking, and spend some time on the back patio with a beer and the radio, but still, no real plans. And what's worse, no one special to spend my time with, which sucks. And the kids are in California for another week yet after this one. Not looking for pity here, just stating facts. It's going to be a lonely weekend.

There is no work again tonight in my department, so it's very quiet here. The shipments came in, but the export documents weren't processed in time for us to take delivery today. So, we'll have a big pile up of work tomorrow when we will be off on Friday. That means Monday and Tuesday will be rough, too. It seems like it's feast or famine around here anymore, although this is supposed to be a temporary thing. I will be leaving four hours early tonight since I have nothing to do, which is a good thing in a way.

I don't have much else to say today. Maybe tomorrow...

What Is Wrong With People?

2009-06-30T13:27:00.000-07:00

Let me tell you about sometihing that happened while I was at The Lube Faerie's party on Saturday night:

Around midnight a number of us were sitting around the fire ring when we started hearing what sounded like very loud fireworks at their next door neighbor's house. This being PA where fireworks are legal, and it being the weekend before the July Fourth holiday, this didn't phase me. A very short time later, the police were at the neighbors house. You could see them in the driveway with guns drawn, yelling, "Get your hands up, get your hands up!" We all immediate ran into the house and stayed there. The cops were at this house for a while after that.

Well, yesterday, we found out what had happened. It wasn't fireworks. This guy was extremely drunk, and upset about neighbor's complaints about his dogs barking. So, he took three of his four dogs into his kitchen and shot them with a rifle. Two of them were killed. The police found their bodies thrown in the back yard. The third was found injured and in a dog crate and was taken to an animal hospital. The fourth dog he didn't touch because it was evidently a prized hunting dog.

Now, this man's wife was home at the time. Lucky he wasn't upset with her. And we are lucky he didn't do this outside, as there were kids running around the place. What the hell would posess someone to do something like this? I was upset and sickened to hear about it. I cannot get it out of my mind. It is just so unbelieveable. Almost surreal.

The man is in jail in lieu of $10,000 bond. I'm hoping he gets the book thrown at him. I'm hoping that the SPCA comes to take the remaining dogs away from him(I heard that the injured dog was returned to the home). I hope that the police confiscated all of his guns. I hope this guy's wife has the good sense to get far away from him before she is next.

A Good, Long Weekend

2009-06-29T13:46:00.000-07:00

I just typed a very long post detailing my weekend and how good it was, and somehow, Google ate it when I hit the "post" button. When will I learn to copy first? I'm not retyping it. Suffice it to say that everything about the weekend was awesome- I partied hardy, I fished, I read poetry, I kayaked- and I am hoping for a repeat this coming weekend. I hope that everyone else had a nice weekend, also.

Thursday By The Numbers

2009-06-25T14:08:00.001-07:00

1. Lucky me. After a brief talk with the boss this afternoon, I am leaving work tonight four hours early, at 7:00. And I have tomorrow off,although I'm not getting paid for it. I need the nice long weekend. I'm looking forward to it.

2. It rained again last night. I got up early to cut the grass, but it was still wet, so back to bed I went. I slept until time to get ready for work. There was really nothing else to do, and AM television sucks for the most part.

3. No rain today yet. It's not supposed to rain tonight or tomorrow either. Yeah, right. I'll believe it when it doesn't happen. If it doesn't I'll cut the grass tomorrow and take the kayak out. Tell me if you are getting tired of hearing about the kayak. I can't help it. I love it.

4. I try, but I just cannot seem to keep my car clean on the inside. I vaccuum it out and wipe it down once a week, but it does no good. I don't know what it is about this car. I didn't seem to have this problem with the truck. Or maybe it's just me. Maybe I didn't care as much with the truck because it was a truck.

5. When you have absolutely nothing to do, go to Wiki and read the history of and story behind the Beatles song, I Am The Walrus. It's all very interesting. And it's interesting to see what other bands have covered it.

6. While you are at Wiki, look up the definition of the word "pica". Also very interesting. I know a number of people who indulged in pica as children. I know I did.

7. Everyone Have a great, great weekend. Party on, Wayne. Party on, Garth.

2009-06-24T14:17:00.000-07:00

Well, I got up and got a little accomplished this morning. I haven't got my grass cut yet, but I did get my kayak out on the water this morning for an hour or so before the rain came again. It is getting ready to storm again right now. The dark clouds are just rolling in from the west.

I'm looking forward to a long, three day weekend. I'm off on Friday night because I have a poetry reading to do with the poetry group. On Saturday I'm doing yard work if its nice and going to a party in the evening at the Lube Faerie's, in lovely Seven Springs, Pennsylvania. Sunday will be more kayaking, weather permitting, and bass fishing no matter what the weather brings. I'll probably do some grilling, as well.

I'm dreading work after tonight because we will have no shipments coming in for the next four days.This is because of a transportation change that is taking place. Our Japan shipments used to come off the ships in Los Angeles, then were railed across the country to us. They stopped that. Now the ships will come through the Panama Canal and up the Atlantic coast to Port Elizabeth, which is close to here. There is this transition period where we will get no shipments, and this is it. It’s always difficult to find productive things for people to do when this happens, and I get so bored myself with all of my employees off working in other departments. At least I'll be able to get some writing done.

Overtaken

2009-06-23T19:19:00.000-07:00

This is inevitable. I sleep. I wake up.
The whiskers grow all night
and every morning I chop them off.
The sound of the traffic out
on the highway is constant.
I drive the hour to work,
then I drive it back home. The same
faceless drivers are always out there.
They weave, careen, slam on brakes,
fill the highways with chaos.

I take my pills- colored ones in the morning,
white ones in the evening. I cook, eat, and shit,
over and again each day. I must take a leak
a dozen times. The television spews
news and entertainment nonstop,
and so does the radio. It gets to be just
noise after a while. So does hearing
people talk sometimes, endless streams
of words and phrases coming from out
of millions of mouths to pollute the air
like huge flocks of dirty birds that block
the sun from view.

And everywhere I look there are clocks
and watches of all sorts, drumming
the rhythm of endless time. They pound out
the eternal cadence of minutes and hours
that drag like an anchor on the ocean
floor, drag like Elliot’s ragged claws
along the beach, sullen and cold-blooded.
Mindless machines, they haunt me.

Sometimes when I think about all of it,
how it happens continually, days, weeks,
years, I want to open a vein. This is called
tedium, and it overtakes me like a deep case
of the blues. I wallow, then turn to rust.

The Best Laid Plans

2009-06-23T14:13:00.000-07:00

Well, I got up early this morning as planned yesterday. It was overcast and windy. The weather radio said there was a 40% chance of rain. I went back to bed, didn't even attempt to cut the grass. I just didn't feel up to trying to rush around to get it done before the rain. As it turned out, it has not rained as of yet. In fact, the skies are partly clear right now.There is supposed to be no rain tomorrow, so I will try again.

I'm starting to think about my vacation now, which is only five weeks away from now. I think I am taking the kayak with me, as my father was talking about taking the canoes to a new park while I am there. I now will not need to take my bike with me, as my sister, the queen of garage sales, picked up a brand new mountain bike for $15 this past weekend as an extra ride for me. There is not a lot planned out ahead of time this visit. Of course, me having to bring the dogs with me put a damper on a couple of things, like going camping while I'm there. That's alright, though. I plan on spending a lot of time just taking it easy.

Work is very busy tonight, and will be tomorrow as well. After that, however, we are not supposed to have any shipments coming in until July 1st, which leaves us with four days with absolutely nothing to do. We will have to be creative in order to keep people busy. Of course we will offeer people the opportunity to take time off, but not everyone will do that. Most are saving their time for family summer vacations right now.

Well, I'm off to read some blogs. More later...

I've Been Happier

2009-06-22T14:25:00.000-07:00

One word can describe how I feel right now, and that word is "miffed". First of all, it rained all weekend again. I didn't get to take the kayak out again, and my lawn is now at official grazing height. We are supposed to get a break over the next couple of days though, so that's a good thing.

Second, I asked what you might call a favor of sorts of someone I have been very close to for a long time. The hurtful thing wasn't so much that I was told no, but that I was made to feel like shit for even asking, which really wasn't necessary.

On the other side of things, I had a good time at the house warming party on Saturday. It's nice to be with friends. I also had a good time with the kids yesterday. The early dinner was very pleasing, and I only missed winning at miniature golf by one stroke. I scored a 63. And I haven't held a club in my hands in years.

No work for my department again tonight, and all of my employees are off working in other departments, so I am diving into a few special projects that have crept up today.

I plan on getting up early tomorrow. If it is indeed only partly cloudy with no sign of rain, I will take my kayak down to the lake for a while, then I'll cut the grass before going to work. Supposedly it's going to be nice this weekend. I hope so because my yard and garden need my attention.

Everyone have a good evening.

Just Nod If You Can Here Me

2009-06-19T15:55:00.000-07:00

It's getting really sparse around here. The list of my favorites on Blogger who are no longer posting is steadily growing longer. I have not had a comment left on one of my entries in a couple of weeks. I wonder if anyone at all is reading me at this point. That thought leaves me feeling lonely. I will continue on nonetheless, as I mainly do this as therapy.

I just got back from a going away party at a local bar for a long-time work associate of mine, another victim of downsizing. I have known this woman since the early eighties and have worked with her for over twenty years. I feel bad for her. She is a single mother with two teenage sons who are still living at home. The company doesn't care about that, though. Normally I would be sure that she would find another decent paying job with her level of job knowledge and her customer service skills, but in these times, who knows. I wish her the very best.

It's a banner day for New Jersey. It has not rained today, and looks like it may not this evening. This is the first day of no rain in two weeks straight. I hope we are done with rain for a while.

Tonight is one of those nights: No work in my department. All of my staff are off working in other departments. I had all of my paperwork finished within a half hour of starting work. I have nothing to do and until 11:30 tonight to do it in. I could go stir crazy, and probably would were it not for the net. I guess this will be a good night to keep up with email, Facebook, Blogger and do some writing. And I'm getting paid. I have nothing to complain about.

As Seen On The Web

2009-06-18T14:17:00.000-07:00

The first advertisement is about a bear,
malnourished, neglected, caged
as a tourist attraction.

Help them, the ad pleads.

The second advertisement shows a dog,
a terrier I think, wet, no fur on it’s feet.
Life is hard on the streets, it says.

Help them, the ad pleads.

The next advertisement is for Nordstrom’s.
It urges me to buy the latest fashions
from Versace, Dolce & Gabna and others.

Buy now, the ad pleads.

There is something wrong with us.

I Knew It

2009-06-17T20:00:00.000-07:00

It rained a little while ago. I knew it would. It looks like it could rain some more, too. By the time it stops the grass in my yard will be knee high.

I will have company going to Rachel and Donna's housewarming party on Saturday. DeleteMe will be making the drive out from beautiful Seven Valleys, PA to join me for the party. It should be a decent time. Now I just have to decide what to make to take with me as far as a food item goes.

I've decided tonight to get up early tomorrow morning and make a trip down the road to the local Marshall's. I need a couple new pairs of work pants, stat. I think I'll get the best deal there.

Have a good rest of the night...

Yeah

2009-06-17T14:30:00.000-07:00

I made someone smile today. That makes me feel good as a human being. It is going to be my objective from now on to do that at least once every day.

It hasn't rained yet today, but it looks like it could at any minute. You can feel it coming. It's something in the air.

I'm on a new medicine now- Zocor for cholesterol. Mine is at 125. I thought that wasn't too bad, but apparently it isn't that great. That brings the number of meds I have to take back up to seven. I don't count the Ambien any more since I haven't had to take it in over a week now.

I said it yesterday and I'll say it again today: lonely is an empty corner.

Everyone have a great evening.

The Rain, The Rain

2009-06-16T14:17:00.000-07:00

It rained all night last night. Naturally, it started when it was time to leave work and continued on from there. All day today it has been looking like rain. I'm getting tired of this. It is starting to give me the blahs. It makes me just want to stay at home in bed.

The weather forecast still says that it will rain every day this week, and that now includes right through the weekend. Ugh.

Someone stole the tape dispenser off my desk today. Yesterday it was my walkie talkie. You can't have anything around here unless you lock it up.

Well, that's all I have to say for now. Perhaps more later. For now I'm off to read some blogs.

Crap Weekend

2009-06-15T14:16:00.000-07:00

It was a crap weekend thanks to the weather. Friday night it rained. Saturday I helped Rachel and Donna move, which wasn't bad because there were ten other people helping as well. I drove the big truck. However, halfway through the move we got hit with a torrential downpour. It continued to rain for hours. Everyone got soaked, some worse than others. Afterwards we had pizza and beer. As soon as we finished carting stuff into the house it stopped raining for a while. Then it continued to rain off and on. It rained more Saturday night, so I spent the evening listening to the radio and nodding off.

Sunday morning early it rained again, so I slept in. Later I got up and went to the gym. By the time I got out of the gym the weather had cleared some but it was still threatening rain and I did not have enough time to take the kayak out before dinner with the kids, so I didn't attempt it. Dinner with the kids and the ex was nice. We made plans for Father's Day, which the ex is ducking out on. We will be going to Red Lobster, followed by a trip to the local pitch'n'put for a couple of games.

After dinner with the kids I went home and cleaned house. Before I went to dinner I had stopped at Best Buy and bought the new Death Cab For Cutie CD, and The Mammas And The Pappas Greatest Hits CD, so I listened to them while I cleaned. Later I talked to my mother on the phone, then went to bed. While getting ready for bed I listened to the weather radio, which is calling for even more rain every day this week.

This morning I slept in, then got up and went to a doctor appointment. This one was with the diabetes doctor. He says I am doing very well according to my latest test results, which is good to hear. He is putting me on a new drug, though: Zocor, for my cholesterol. My bad cholesterol level is at 125 and he says it needs to be lower, so onto another pill I go.

The real good news is that after a full week, I am still sleeping very well without the sleeping pills. The Restless Legs Syndrome has not been an issue. I can only attribute this to the iron supplement I have been taking, as RLS is a common symptom of anemia.

Today is very busy at work. I got here late due to the doctor appointment, so I am trying to catch up on paperwork. Better get back to it.

Me And Wendy

2009-06-12T15:16:00.000-07:00

This is a photo of me and Wendy from a few years ago. I loved her. Still do in a way. It was unrequited, though. I decided to post this today because I was thinking about it. What made me love her? Little things. Her laugh and her sense of humor. Her lips and her sly smile. The way she plays with her food. It was a lot of things. And we have a lot in common, too. But, it was not to be. Still, it's nice to imagine and fantasize sometimes. I wish I was not alone.

Work, Work, Work

2009-06-11T14:14:00.000-07:00

That's all I have to talk about today. There is just nothing else happening in my life right now. It's very hectic at work, and the new manager is throwing a lot of new projects around. I was given two that will take me the better part of two hours tonight and they have nothing to do with running my department. They have to do with the facility as a whole. I don't mind, though. It keeps me hustling, and you know that I prefer to be busy at work.

The new manager is hard to keep up with. Since he has been here, the volume of email I receive has tripled. I am now receiving about 100 emails a day, not including junk mail. A lot of these emails are either from him, or the subjects were started by him. This is a result of his ability to juggle 25 chainsaws at once without dropping any. Nothing escapes his notice, and he has a memory like a bank vault. And everything reminds him of something else.

All of this is good, though. He is getting people who has sat around here on their arses for too long to engage in the business. That's great to see. I am speaking of my fellow supervisors here. There has been too much complacency and apathy from them in the past, and that is fast disappearing because that is the effect that this manager has on the operation and on people. I love it. It's good to see people now doing what they should have been doing all along.

Well, that's all for me for now. Maybe tomorrow I'll have something more interesting to talk about.

A Repeat

2009-06-10T14:29:00.000-07:00

Last night was a repeat of Monday night- work very late, go home, go to bed, sleep until time to go to work- so again there is little to tell. The only difference is that last night I did spend some time playing with the dogs. They needed the attention. I understand how they feel.

The overtime work is over for now. There may not be any more until the end of the month, if at all. I'd prefer not to work it, especially since I don't get paid for working it. The company stopped that as a cost saving measure.

I have to order my new vehicle this week as my current lease on the Versa expires in the beginning of October. Yes, it takes that long when you order a vehicle. I'm pretty sure at this point that I am going with a Cube, in moss green. It will match the color of the new kayak, which is a light olive.

Well, I'm really busy, so back to work I go...

A Funny

2009-06-09T20:27:00.000-07:00

A friend sent this to me and I just had to pass it on...

If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana . He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne , Indiana , who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.

Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater.This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea and heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn.I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.Needless to say I aborted the dive.

I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.

Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day.

Nothing To Tell

2009-06-09T14:11:00.000-07:00

There is virtually nothing for me to talk about today. I left work last night at 1:40 AM, got home and into bed by 3:00. I slept until noon, at which point I got up and got ready for work and left the house. And now I'm here again. Nothing has transpired. Isn't that exciting? At least tomorrow is hump day.

This coming weekend will be a busy one. On Saturday I am helping my friends Rachel and Donna move into their new house. Maybe I'll get some fishing in that evening. On Sunday I will be going to the gym and spending some more float time in the new kayak. Somewhere in there I will have to clean the house and fold three heaping loads of laundry that are waiting for me. So you see, it's only Tuesday and I'm all ready for the weekend. That may not be a good thing. It will probably make the week seem long.

More later maybe...

Concerned

2009-06-08T21:40:00.000-07:00

I have to admit that I'm concerned at this point that Bobby, aka Fiujific, has not posted in what will be a week tomorrow. That's not like him. I think the world of the guy, and I hope that he is just really, really busy with things, and that nothing else is going on. A person gets worried, you know?

Everyone have a good night and a great Tuesday.

Yes, I Did

2009-06-08T14:20:00.000-07:00

So, I did it this weekend. I went out and bought a kayak. After shopping around a while on Saturday, I found a great deal at Dick's Sporting Goods. I got a nine-footer for only $175, reduced from $300. No way could I pass that up. And no, it was not used. And surprisingly, the roof rack only cost me $35. I really could not believe that. Everything else that happened over the weekend was overshadowed by the kayak purchase, with the exception of actually using it for several hours on Sunday afternoon. In doing so I got a slight sunburn on my arms and face, and more of one on the part of my legs that were exposed. Sunblock!

Saturday night was nice also. I had gone and bought groceries before I went kayak shopping, so I had real food. I grilled salmon and my special potatoes and carrots. I ate outside on the patio, then stayed out there with the dogs and watched a movie on the laptop by candle light. I watched No Country For Old Men again. I love that movie.

Last night was my poetry group meeting. It was a good meeting. Of couse I had to talk about my new purchase and found out that my friend A and her husband have kayaks, also. Apparently they often go kayaking on the Delaware, around Burlington Island, so I will join them some time soon.
After I got home from the meeting I spoke to my parents on the phone, and I got so tired during the call that afterwards I went right to bed, and it was only 10:00. I normally would have been up until midnight. I slept really well, without the sleeping pills. I was happy for that.

I got up early this morning for my final (for a while, anyway) blood test. After that I washed the car, paid some bills and got ready for work. Tonight I have to work overtime, so I will not be getting out until 1:30 AM. It will probably be the same tomorrow night. Hopefully no more after that.

More later...

Shut It

2009-06-05T19:59:00.000-07:00

Despite living in New Jersey for the past 22+ years, I am admittedly not a fan of Bon Jovi. In fact, I'm sort of a Bon Jovi hater. I don't know the guy personally (although I know someone who used to babysit him), so I don't hate him per se. I just hate his music. I especially do not like the song, Who Says You Can't Go Home?

Now, this radio station that plays on our P.A. system at work keeps playing this country and western version of the song, and it blows, big time. This "light rock" station has such a short play list and such a douche program director that I'm stuck hearing it two to three times every work shift. I can hardly bare it.

Please make the madness stop!

Good night...

Friday By The Numbers

2009-06-05T14:18:00.000-07:00

1. It's another cold and rainy day. This is June. Where is the sunshine? I'm more than ready for it.

2. It was announced at work that we are going to change from three shifts to two. I will probably end up working from 10:00 AM to 6:30 PM or something like that. That's if I even stay in the same department. That may change as well. I'm not sure how I feel about it yet.

3. I slept well last night, but then, I resorted to the sleeping pills. While I was sleeping so well, Cortez chewed a silver dollar-sized hole in the bedroom carpet. Good thing it's an old carpet that I will probably replace. Still, I could kill him. I don't know what got into him.

4. Plans for this weekend include fishing, cutting the grass, cleaning the house, folding laundry and probably kayak shopping. I also have a poetry group meeting on Sunday night.

5. When I get home tonight I'll probably stay up and watch Craig Ferguson. He always gets me laughing.

6. My horoscope for today says I might want to second-think a crush that I have at work. That's funny, because I do kind of have a crush at work.

7. My employees have worked really, really hard this week. I am grateful, and also very proud of them. I told them so in our department meeting this afternoon. I wish it could always be like this.

8. Everyone have a great weekend. Really.

It's Been...

2009-06-04T20:25:00.000-07:00

...A really crazy night here at work. Extremely busy for me. I spen the second half of the night tearing around on a forklift, shuttling freight. I didn't even get dinner. I'll be hitting someplace on my way home in a few minutes here.

Everyone have a great rest of the evening. Tomorrow, TFGIF. Till then...

And So

2009-06-04T14:31:00.000-07:00

My big news yesterday was the impossible- that I got a bonus at work- a little over $3,000 net. I'm thinking that I may spend a couple of hundred on a kayak and bank the rest. I may just bank all of it. I know I will end up needing some of it for medical bills coming up from my tests.

The other big news is that in the fall my new manager is going to change us from a three shift operation to two shifts. I will either end up working a midnight shift or something like 10:00 to 6:30. I'll just have to wait and see what all shakes out of the mix of changes between now and then. Hell, I may not even be in the same department by then.

Work is very busy. I had to work overtime last night, and I will probably have to work it again tonight. I have to figure that out and make that decision in just a bit here.

Well, back to work. More later...

A Nod To Hank

2009-06-03T21:51:00.000-07:00

“Sometimes you just have to pee in the sink.” - Charles Bukowski

Charles Bukowski is still my favorite poet and I don't care who knows it.

He lived a crazy life and he wasn't afraid to plainly put the sordid details down on paper for the whole world to read. He spit out his pains and emotions without it sounding contrived or cliched. He found a way to do it that was captivating. He had a way of drawing the reader into his wild world.

His life was full of booze, cigarettes, weed, women, crappy jobs, old cars, bad apartments, horse races and the torture that is often writing. In many ways reading his work reminds me of my late grandfather, who was among other things, a man of that generation and a partier extrordinaire.

Most all of his life was spent in the Los Angeles suburb of San Pedro, a hilly, run down old fishing town bordered by the ocean, Palos Verdes and dirty oil refineries. I spent five years of my life in San Pedro, before I had ever heard of Charles. He is buried in a San Pedro cemetary, just over the hill from my father-in-law, another man of that ilk. So, knowing that place as I do, and understanding Southern California, I feel connected to Charles for that reason, as well as for the fact that I too am a struggling writer. I too have battled personal demons. I too have found myself with a huge hangover in the morning after a long night of writing and listening to music in the heat of the summer.

Here's to you, Hank. Thank you for your words.

A Great Day

2009-06-03T14:23:00.000-07:00

Blogger ate my long post. I am NOT retyping it. Let's just say that I'm having a really great day and leave it at that. I hope that you are, too.

I Don't Know...

2009-06-02T14:19:00.000-07:00

...exactly what to write about today. I tried a slightly different tack last night. I didn't go to bed right away when I got home. Actually, I took digital photographs of some of my paintings and watched some television. Then I went to bed without taking the sleeping pills. Predictably, I didn't sleep all that well.

I fought myself to get up at 9:00 this morning. I got a shower and went out and voted. I came back and paid my bills. I had a nice dispute with the phone company about my wireless bill which ended up in my favor to the tune of $47.06. I left for work early so that I could stop at the doctor's and pick up some paperwork and make an appointment. I feel a little grumpy in general.

A little spider bit me on both arms in several places last night and I am itching like crazy in those spots. The anti-itch cream is only working for a little while with each application.

We had our first formal meeting with the new old manager today. It went well, but as I expected, it went way over schedule, also. I came out of it pretty much unscathed. There is a lot to do at work for me right now. We have a lot of shipments coming in, and there is a lot of month end paperwork to take care of over the next couple of days.

Well, I guess I'll go read some blogs now. More later, perhaps...

You've Got Me On My Knees

2009-06-01T19:34:00.001-07:00

A short rant- I agree with author Chuck Klosterman: Clapton was a shit. What kind of guy goes after the one woman he can't have, his best friend's wife? What kind of friend is that? I don't want any of those. And what kind of wife is that? I don't want any of those, either. And Something is a much better song than Layla. So there.

Carry on.

It Was...

2009-06-01T14:18:00.000-07:00

... a busy weekend. I got everything done that I wanted to except for paying the bills. I still have plenty of time for that. I spent the majority of the weekend outside working. I really got a lot done. The weather was beautiful all weekend except that it got windy and kind of cool last night. Diner with the kids was abreviated last night. My ex tossed everyone out before 7:00, stating that she had work to do, as in stuff from her job, so I was home early from that.

I tried to sleep without taking the sleeping pills last night and it did me no good. Within an hour the RLS was in a fury in my left leg. I'm really hoping that once this thing with my anemia is fixed that the RLS goes away, as that is a common sympton.

I feel guilty today because I wanted to get up early and go to the gym, but I slept in. I really needed the gym more than I needed the sleep. I'll try again tomorrow.

Friday By The Numbers

2009-05-29T14:58:00.000-07:00

1. It is warmish outside right now, but it looks like it could pour any minute. It was supposed to be nice today. I hope the weekend weather is nice. I have lots of outside work to do.

2. This weekend I also have the monthly chore of paying my bills. Not my favorite thing to do. I hate writing out checks and dealing with the register. This is what I get for not trusting on line bill paying.

3. The garden is in great shape with all of the rain we have been having. I can hardly wait to see the veggies starting to form on the stalks and vines. I can, however, wait to deal with the weeds.

4. I feel like a slacker for not having written any poems this week, but the inspiration just has not been there. My muse has been on spring break, I guess.

5. No work whatsoever in my department tonight so I am leaving at 7:00. I had all of my paper work done within an hour of getting here. Most of my people are leaving at 7:00 also, and the rest are working in other departments. It will be nice to get home early and before dark. I'm sure the dogs will be glad to see me.

6. Help! Bosco peed on the front of my guitar amplifier last night. It dried. Does anyone know what will take a pee stain out of tolex? Tolex is fake leather, in case you didn't know.

7. Everyone have a great weekend. I mean it.

Still

2009-05-28T14:24:00.000-07:00

I'm still tired today. I didn't sleep that well last night. It was on and off. I did not take my sleeping pill last night. I had a doctor's appointment this morning and I did not want to sleep through it.

The appointment went okay. The results of the pill cam were nil. The procedure found nothing physically wrong with me: no tumors, lesions, cancer or internal bleeding of any kind. I'm thankful for that. I have to have more blood tests though, which I am not happy about. The doctor believes that one of the medications I take for my bipolar disorder is causing me to not produce blood properly. The new blood tests are to confirm that. For now I am on an iron supplement and that's the only change in anything. Maybe I'll start to feel less tired in general once this is all sorted out and my meds are fixed. I can only hope.

I am going through something right now that I want to talk about here but can't, in fact I feel like I can't talk to anyone about it, and it's driving me up the wall. The thing itself is killing me, and not being able to talk about it to anyone is killing me, too. I've never had this kind of problem before, and my inability to deal with it properly is part of the issue, for which I can blame no one but myself. It relates to my ex-wife putting me off on something, and that's all I can say about it. Is that cryptic and mysterious enough? I wish the solution would just drop into my lap, but I know that's not going to happen.

Random Flotsam

2009-05-27T13:55:00.000-07:00

Music fans: In a current concert series, Weezer is the opening act for Blink 182. This is just plain wrong. It really should be the other way around, mainly because I (and many, many others) think that Blink 182 sucks. Is there no justice?

I'm tired. After getting to bed at 1:00 AM last night I got up this morning at 6:00 and went to get my blood test done. I went back to bed after I got home, but it just wasn't the same.

What the hell is wrong with Pyongyang? What possible good, reasonable reason could they have for wanting to crank up the cold war machine? I have a couple of questions for North Korea, like mainly, what do you plan on doing with the bomb, and why do you want the rest of the world pissed at you? Stupidity.

On Monday night, as soon as I finished shampooing the living room carpet, the shampooer broke down. Then I got out the floor fan to run in that room to help the carpet dry out. It ran for five minutes and broke down. I went to get the oscillating fan to use it instead and found that Bosco had chewed the plug off. What are the chances?

I don't have anything to eat in my house except some fish sticks, a half a box of Wheaties and a couple of cans of soup. I have to get to the grocery store soon.

Lonely is an empty corner.

It Was Fun But...

2009-05-26T13:57:00.000-07:00

...I could have used just one more day. The weekend was a busy one for me. The thing that took the longest and the most effort was tilling my garden and getting everything planted. It took most of a day. I planted cherry and beefsteak tomatoes, bell peppers, egg plant, cucumbers, squash, and sweet potatoes.

I also cut my grass, cleaned my living room carpet, cleaned the house, trimmed a tree in my back yard, and worked on a couple of music projects. Saturday I talked to my brother and sister on the phone, and Saturday night I had a nice fire in my outdoor fireplace, which I enjoyed with a couple of beers. Sunday eveing I went to my son's apartment, and the kids and I ate Chinese take out and played video games. Monday I slept in late, and took a nice bike ride in the early evening.

The only thing I wanted to do and didn't was go fishing. The stripers are running in the Delaware and I want to try for some. You have to plan for that though. You can't just go at any time. You have to go when the tide is almost finished coming in. The river is tidal where I live because we are so close to the ocean. Maybe next weekend.

The weather was beautiful all weekend, but that's over now. It started raining last night and it is supposed to continue until Friday afternoon. This will be a busy week. I have to get a blood test done tomorrow, and I have a doctor's appointment on Thursday. I need to have another doctor's appointment on Friday, and on Saturday I have to take Cortez to the groomers. I also have to pay my bills over the weekend. Today is pay day.

The hair is starting to visibly grow back on my chest and stomach. It still itches, but not like it was a few days ago. I'm glad that I don't have to have any more tests like that. At least, not as far as I know.

Work is somewhat slow tonight. Half of my people are off in other departments, and the other half will be doing the same within the next hour, so most of the evening will be quiet for me. Maybe I'll get some writing done this evening.

Well, I'm off to read some blogs...

Friday By The Numbers

2009-05-22T14:00:00.000-07:00

1. Well Friday is finally here, and that makes me happy. It's been a long week. Good riddance.

2. About last night's delima, I took the sleeping pill. I woke up this morning at 11:00. I did not get done what I wanted to get done. Grrr.

3. The big house behing mine has been for sale for a couple of months now and I finally saw someone looking at it this morning. I just wish the real estate company would cut the 2' long grass. It makes the whole neighborhood look like crap.

4. The weather is beautiful today: warm, sunny, a slight breeze. It sure made it hard to come in here to work. On the up side, this is a furlough day for the front offices, so I got a nice close parking spot this afternoon.

5. Work is kind of, sort of, but not quite busy this evening. It's better than it being dead slow. I'll take it, I guess.

6. Today I put on this white shirt that has a pleated front. Everyone keeps asking me if I'm going to a wedding. I never thought it looked like a tux shirt, but I guess it kind of does now that I think about it.

7. I'm feeling sleepy sitting here at my desk. I need to get up and walk a round a bit.

8. Everyone have a really super Memorial Day weekend. Don't forget what the holiday is about.

A Delima, Fire, Email and The Morning Paper

2009-05-21T19:19:00.000-07:00

I want to get up tomorrow early and do some things, so I don't want to take a sleeping pill tonight. However, I dont want to have another night like I had last night, in which I spent half of it awake, tossing and turning. I'm not sure what I will do about this. If I take the pill, I know from experience that I'll probably sleep until 11:00 or 12:00. Decisions, decisions.

I got a nice email from my half-sister in South Carolina this evening. She told me that she is getting married this weekend. This is so sudden, but I am very happy for her. She deserves a good man.The last one was such a lying, cheating scumbag.

I also got a nice email from my mother. She was thinking of me because she looked out the kitchen window and my dad was out at the fire ring burning some brush and was leaning on his rake, staring into the fire. She knows how much I love a good bon fire. She wished I was there right then, so she wrote. Aren't mothers great?

Setting up my tent in the back yard to dry it out this morning had me thinking about an old ritual of mine and my brother's. When Columbus had a morning paper, The Citizen's Journal to be exact, he was a paper boy. He was about eleven and I was fourteen. In the summer on Friday nights we would sleep out in the family tent in the back yard, and at 4:00 AM I would go to deliver papers with him. We rode all over our small, one traffic light farm town on our bikes. We had the run of the place. We were the only ones up in the whole town except for the baker, who gave us free donuts, and the mortician, who scared the hell out of us when he would come to the door to retrieve the paper. Who knows why he was up at that hour, fully dressed in a three-piece suit, you know? Creepy.

After delivering the papers we would go back to the tent, eat donuts and read the paper by flashlight. Not the whole paper- just the copmics and the almanac. We would have discussions about the almanac- what planets were in the night sky, the big historical events, how many days were left in the calendar year, how many days until harvest. We would do this until dawn would creep in, at which point we would nestle back into our sleeping bags and snooze until about 9:00 AM. Ah, good times...

Everyone have a great evening. Remember when...

Almost

2009-05-21T14:16:00.000-07:00

I'm glad that the week is almost over. I've pretty much decided that this weekend will be a working weekend around the house. I will till and plant my vegetable garden, retill the front herb garden and replant. I will recaulk the tub and shampoo the living room carpet. I will do some weeding and run the weed whacker over the whole perimiter of the yard. I will also spend Saturday evening sitting on the back patio, listening to music, drinking some beers and enjoying a small fire in the outdoor fire place.

I didn't sleep all that well last night. I didn't not take a sleeping pill because I wanted to get up early and get a few things done. I got up about 9:30 this morning and caught up on a few chores and errands. I picked up some paperwork at the doctor's office. I went to the post office. Now that it is warm and not too breezy I set up the tent and set out the tarps in the back yard so that they can dry out from the camping trip. I will clean them either tomorrow morning or on Saturday. I also cut the front lawn. The back didn't need it yet.

I also spent some time practicing the guitar late this morning. I have a little project going. I have pulled a bunch of old forgotten songs I wrote in the 90s from off of the old four-track recorder and dumped them into the computer. I am relearning them and will re-record them digitally with new vocals and instrumentation. This is something I am just doing for myself for fun. I have about a dozen songs to work on, and I managed to relearn three of them this morning. That's progress.

It now looks like tomorrow night will not be a slow one at work, which makes me happy. I want the night to go by quickly.

Well, I'm off to read some blogs. More later...

Catching Up A Bit

2009-05-20T19:11:00.000-07:00

So yesterday was my "pill cam" test. It went alright as for as far as I know. I'm not sure when I will get the results. I still have to have a couple more blood tests. I still seriously doubt that I have internal bleeding anywhere. None of the other tests have turned up anything like that. I still think it's just a matter of me having iron poor blood. Line me up for the cod liver oil or whatever.

I have to say that there is one thing I feel stupid about, and that's the shaving I had to do for my test. Monday night I sat in a tub of hot water. I got myself all wet and rubbed shaving cream all over my chest, stomach and lower. Then I went to work, and it was work. It took forever to get done. Finally I got everything shaved except for my very upper chest, which I couldn't see just looking down. I would need the bathroom mirror for that. I don't know why exactly, but after the bath I dried off and took the razor to my upper chest dry, using the mirror for guidance. The hair came off so quick, I couldn't believe it. I wish I had known about this!

I received in the mail yesterday a batch of poems from my nephew in Los Angeles. He suffers from what I would call a severe case of depression, in that it has incapacitated him in terms of leading a normal life. And he has had a hard life- his father killed in a drive-by gang shooting when he was just 13, having a step-father that he doesn not get along with, a battle with drug addiction. The poems are confessional and stark. There are a number of references to him feeling useless and unloved. There are a number of references to his wishing he was dead, and wanting to end it all. Of course this disturbs and concerns me quite a bit. And I understand how he feels. I have been there in the past. I wrote him a long letter back, and plan to write to him more. I encouraged him to keep putting his feelings and thoughts into poetry, and to keep writing to me. I don't know that there is anything else I can do for him except to be there for him to communicate with when he feels the need.

I'm glad that today is hump day. The upcoming three day weekend is appreciated. I'm not looking forward to Friday, though. According to the work forecasts it will be very slow in my department on Friday, so the time will drag. We all know how I hate a slow night at work. I have no real plans for the weekend except for the usual dinner with the kids on Sunday night. And on Saturday I'm going with the ex to finally end the family phone plan. We will have separate plans from now on. I think it's a mistake because it will end up costing us both more. I guess I'll find out for sure. I also have to find out about getting internet service at home again, since the wireless was Billy's and he's gone now. I hope I can afford the cable DSL service.

Well, that's all for now. everyone have a nice evening...

A Few Camping Photos...

2009-05-20T17:05:00.000-07:00

...as promised.

Eat Something

2009-05-18T20:21:00.000-07:00

I'm still starving, only worse now. Tonight I have had several cups of coffee, a Coke Zero and the broth from three ramen cups. It's just not enough. I purposely had a big lunch to try to tide me over. It really didn't work. And I'm not allowed to eat anything until lunch time tomorrow, and even then only something light. I am craving a big burger and fries in the worst way. Once the test is over tomorrow I'm going to gorge myself silly, I swear.

Everyone have a great rest of the evening. Eat something for me...

All The News

2009-05-18T15:53:00.000-07:00

I have a lot to talk about today, but will do my best to not make this a real long post.

First of all with the exception of having to pack up in the rain on Sunday morning, the camping trip was great. Thanks to my new camera, I will have photos to post of the trip in a day or two. About nine of us ended up in attendance and we had a really good time. They had a birthday cake for me on Saturday night. Cool.

On Sunday, after unpacking my camping equiment and cleaning up the house a bit, I went shopping with my birthday money. First I went to Target and bought camera accessories- a 2GB memory card, carrying case, tripod and cleaning kit. Then I went to Home Depot and bought hanging flower baskets for my back yard. Then I finsihed off at Kohls, where I bought a new pair of slacks and a casual shirt.

Later on was the poetry group meeting. It was a good meeting. I received the first supply of my new book, Big Time, and I was very pleased with the results. Maverick Duck Press did a great job with it. The group also had a birthday cake for me. I have a fair amount of sugar free cake at home right now.

The only bad thing about the weekend was that I took a little nap on Sunday afternoon before the poertry group meeting, during which I had a startlingly vivid nightmare. I dreamed that my first ex- wife came to Jersey, found me, and shot me to death- right in the forehead. It seemed so real, it was awful.

Tomorrow is my "pill cam" test at the hospital in Camden. It's so much fun. Liquid diet all day today. I'm so starving right now. I won't be allowed to eat anything until lunch time tomorrow. Tonight I have to completely shave my chest, stomach and abdomen so that they can attach the electronic patches to my skin for the data recording device. I will be so nervous shaving around my nipples. I'm so afraid of getting cut right there for some reason. I hate to think what this will cost me. My portion of the last tests I had is costing me $300 out of pocket. I just have a feeling like this will be more. It seems like such a high tech procedure.

Well, back to work for now. More later...

Yay Camping!

2009-05-14T20:15:00.000-07:00

I've been so preoccupied tonight with the camping trip. I know that Rachel packed her car up tonight, and I'm so keyed up right now I'll probably go home and do the same rather than going to bed. Hell, I know I won't be able to sleep. I just can't wait. I'm so like a little kid about this...

BDay Recap

2009-05-14T16:30:00.000-07:00

First of all, a huge load of thanks to everyone who wished me a happy birthday yesterday on here, in email and on Facebook. It was literally dozens of people. Second, I have to say that I was very freaked out that one of said people on Facebook was my first ex-wife, whom I have not heard boo from in probably fifteen years. It was spooky. I won't go into the story now, but she waschronically physically, mentally and verbally abusive to me, which is why I left her.

Anyway, I started the day by getting up at 6:00 to get my blood test. I got there at 6:45 and was very surprised to be out of there in a half hour, especially given the number of people in the waiting room when I got there. I was so happy about that that I promptly went fishing. For four and a half hours. I caught two very nice rainbow trout that are now in my freezer, awaiting the frying pan. A third got way from me at the dock.

After that I had lunch at Checkers and went to the store to buy the goods for the camping trip. I had the hardest time finding vienna sausages for some reason. I never thought to look by the canned chili. Silly me. Then I took my car in for service. For the hour and a half that I was there in the dealership waiting room I read a David Sedaris book and watched a surprisingly explicit movie about two lesbians in a high school level boarding school. There was explicit language, full frontal nudity and sexually explicit scenes. Being a typical guy in some respects, this of course made me happy. Heh.

After the car business I went home and showered and got ready for dinner with the family. We ate at the Macaroni Grill. They screwed up and didn't assign us a server right at first, so the mananger gave us free appetizers, gave us each a coupon for $5 off an entree at our next visit, and gave us free post-meal coffees. It was great. Everyone chipped in and got me a new Canon digital camera, which I am extremely happy with.

I went to bed a couple of hours after I got home, but found myself wide awake with the RLS raging in my legs at 1:30. What could I do? I got up and packed all my camping gear up and went through my check list several times, that's what I did. I'm ready now. I just have to load the car. That took me until about 3:30 AM. I then went back to bed, and luckily fell asleep. I got up this morning at 11:30 feeling pretty good.

Now I just have to get through the work night, which is already going smoothly. The visit by our director was nothing. No bad news was issued. He was just there to introduce our new manager, and answer questions.

Well, it's almost 8:00 PM- dinner time for me. More later...

Pondering

2009-05-12T19:14:00.001-07:00

Something in Bobby's post today got my brain whirring. He said something about still feeling like he's seventeen years old. I had always felt like I was still seventeen inside. It was great to be that way. Then I hit fifty and something sort of changed. I don't exactly know what it is. Maybe more focused thoughts of impending mortality. Maybe it is my recent decline in health. Maybe it is the small pot I have developed just above the waist line. Maybe it's seeing my parents and siblings aging. Maybe the realiziation of how much time has really passed has put the whammy on me. Maybe it's a combination of all these things and others that I just haven't sorted yet.

In a way, I want to still feel that young inside. I want to feel that carefree, which I know will not happen. I want to have that many wild times, which I am too responsible for now. I want to have that many close friends, which I don't. The old adage is that you are only as old as you feel. I belive that, but only to point, as it only seems to work for me to a certain point now. My doctor, who is in his early sixties tells me I am still a young man. I know that's bullshit. I'm fifty. Fifty one tomorrow, to be exact. I know that I have spent more days than what I have left.

On the other hand, I'm happy, or at least content almost every day. I've learned to be content with what my life is and what life has handed me. I've beaten my bipolar disorder and my inner demons to a pulp, which I am proud of. I have my medical issues under control. I'm finding that I can do with less than I thought I could. I've learned to deal with my career not going as far as I wanted it to go. I'm slowly learning to live without my wife, without a wife. I know that I don't look as old as fifty. And honestly, when I look in the mirror I like who I see.

I've never discussed this with someone my own age. Perhaps I should just to get someone else's perspective on it. I don't know.

Anyway, I'm glad for Bobby that he feels like he does. He's a great guy, and I hope he always feels that way. I wish him nothing but the best. As for me, I believe I've kind of settled into fifty in a way, and I think I'm alright with it.

Misc. Bits And Pieces

2009-05-12T14:18:00.000-07:00

I so did not want to get off the bed this morning. I did not sleep that well for the majority of the night, in spite of taking a sleeping pill. I don't know why they work some nights and not others. It was one of those nights when I didn't fall asleep until around 4:00 AM and woke up around 10:00 AM. I feel like a broken record continuing to talk about my ongoing sleep issues.

I woke up with some kind of bites on me this morning. I haven't actually seen any mosquitos yet, but these are suspiciously like mosquito bites. There is a small hole in the bathroom window screen. Maybe that's the culprit. I have been leaving that window open at night.

My brother sent me a message wishing me a happy birthday today. He thinks it's today. I won't tell him any different. He does seem to get a bit mixed up at times.

I was so bored at work last night with nothing to do. I made up my camping check list, shopping list and menu. Then I left early, about 9:30. When I got home I figured out how to change batteries in my new lantern, figured out how to set up and take down my new camp table, and scoured my camp stove really well. It was good I did it since I really didn't have time to deal with those things this morning.

Have you ever heard that Bon Jovi song Who Says You can't Go Home? I can't stand that song, and now the radio station that is on the work PA system keeps playing this country and western version of it by I don't know who, and it is just awful- torture to my ears. Like the King Missle song says, I am a sensitive artist. Heh.

I'm really glad that Xanadu has decided to stick around. I hate losing people, hate to see them leave, as it were. It's enough for me that Billy is heading out this weekend, but I know he's got to do what he's got to do. Man, the house is going to be quiet...

Please

2009-05-11T18:12:00.000-07:00

Please, don't anyone else leave Blogger. Damn it.

I Can't Stop...

2009-05-11T14:04:00.000-07:00

...thinking about this coming weekend. I am just so preoccupied right now. I love camping and I can't wait to go. Last night's weather report said drizzle on Friday and posible rain on Saturday, but I don't care. I've camped in downpours and wicked thunderstorms before, so a little wet doesn't bother me. I went out Saturday and bought a new camp table, a new lantern, and get this- 100 feet of camouflage rope. Camouflage rope. How cool is that? Tomorrow I have to scour the camp stove. It needs a better cleaning. I also have to plan my camp menu and go to the store for the food. There will be lots of hotdogs, beans, bacon, macaroni & cheese, apples, raw carrots, vienna sausages, beef jerkey and granola bars.

The weekend was okay. Nothing to write a book about. Saturday's highlights were the shopping, getting out my lawn furniture, fixing chicken dinner for Billy and I, and spending the evening watching music videos on Youtube. I got no sleep in Saturday night thanks to my RLS. Sunday I cut the grass. It was very windy all day, and somewhat cool. The highlight was Mother's Day dinner with the ex and the kids. My daughter picked the restaurant, as usual, so it was fancy and expensive, as usual. Put out wine goblets, cloth napkins and fresh flowers on the table and I'm just not that comfortable. The food was really good though. I had two huge lump crab cakes and some kind of southwest flavored corn paste dish.

It's going to be a busy week. Work today and tomorrow. Off on Wednesday during which I'll get my blood test, get my car serviced, and have my birthday dinner with the kids. Thursday our division director is in with our new manager and there will be group meetings to deal with. Thursday, more work, and on Friday, I hit the road for camping and Billy hits the road for Florida.

It's going to be a boring evening. No work in my department, so all of my employees are off in other departments working, and I'm left alone at my desk for the night with little to do.

Well, I'm off to read blogs. More later...

FBTN, Continued...

2009-05-08T17:47:00.000-07:00

6. I was going through some medical paperwork and found an unfamiliar brochure about diverticulosis. Then I thought back long and hard to the day of my endoscopy/colonoscopy. I vaguely remember, while I was still sedated and pretty out of it, the doctor telling me something about me having a mild case of this. So now I'm thinking, what next? Osteoporosis? Arthritis? When will I stop collecting illnesses? Luckily, according to the brochure, all I have to do for this is eat more fiber. I'm glad it doesn't involve another pill.

7. I've taken to writing some semi-erotic to erotic poetry lately. I don't know why exactly. No, I won't post any here. It's only for a very, very select few to see.

8. Speaking of poetry, my poetry website, Watershed, is newly updated. Please feel free to stop by and have a look around: www.geocities.com/filthydm.

9. I have off work this coming Wednesday. It is my furlough day for May. It's also my 51st birthday. How do I plan on spending the day? Getting a blood test and getting my car serviced. I know, I know- thrilling stuff. Maybe I'll get Billy to go out for seafood for dinner with me.

10. I also have this coming Friday off for the big camping trip in the Pine Barrens. I can hardly wait to get there, and to hang out with my friends. I've been looking very forward to this. I still don't have arrangements made for the dogs yet. I don't know exactly what day Billy is leaving on, and that makes a difference.

11. Everyone have a great, great weekend...

Friday By The Numbers

2009-05-08T14:02:00.000-07:00

1. TGIFF

2. Don't you just hate it when you tell someone something that is a proveable fact and they don't believe you, so they go to someone else with it? I do, very much. Grrr.

3. I woke up at 6:30 AM this morning and could not fall back to sleep, so I got up and headed to the lake. I fished for three and a half hours. I caught nothing. I saw turtles swimming by. I saw two eagles, one carrying a fish in it's talons. It was quiet. I had the fishing dock to myself most of the time. The coffee was strong. It was a good morning.

4. I started cleaning house this morning, also. I don't want to spend the whole weekend doing it. I want to have some fun. I feel like I deserve it.

5. More later...

The Fog Zone

2009-05-07T19:59:00.000-07:00

It is unbelieveably foggy outside right now. You can't even see half-way across the parking lot. Luckily I know my way home like the back of my hand. This fog somehow reminds me of a head shop that existed in Columbus, Ohio back in my college days. It was called The Fog Zone. It's radio spokesman, who did all the commercials, was called The Wild Man. The best head shop name I've ever heard was Bongs And Thongs.

So here's a new poem to wrap up the evening for you:

Thought Springs To Life

Cold skies keep the clouds
that hold my inner desires
like a wallet holds dollar bills,
and the rain drops come down-
bits of shredded, green linen
falling through the atmosphere
to land on the heads of those
who know me.

Desires come from wants
which come from needs, seeds
of flowers newly stuck into the
moist ground in the morning
of a warm day in the middle of May.
And the fresh cut grass bristles
green at the thought of my dreams,
hung on the edges of the clouds.

Lead me to fields of new dandelions,
butter yellow heads bowed to hear
the sound of the wind in the pine
trees as they whisper the thoughts
I cannot, dare not speak aloud. Take
me to the side of a stream that runs
cold and quick over rounded stones
as the minnows play, little whimsies all.

Strum the branches of the willow tree
like living banjo strings and sing my song
to the valley from the top of the hill
where my footprints lead west down
the side to follow the tendrils of the sun
as it sweeps across its kingdom, the
burning sovereign it has always been
and always will be.

Everyone have a nice evening.

2009-05-07T14:06:00.000-07:00

More rain again today, unfortunately. Thunderstorms this time. I actually like thunderstorms, but I am tired of the rain. This make nine days of it in a row, and we are supposed to have a couple more. This is April weather. I guess nature doesn't follow the calendar.

I can't believe how dirty my house has gotten this week. I just cleaned on what, Saturday? Yeah, Saturday. It's mainly the floors. The dogs have tracked in a lot of dead grass on the carpets and the kitchen floor. This weekend I absolutely have to shampoo the livingroom carpet. After I do this time, no more rawhide treats for the dogs in the living room. The flavor coating on them gets onto the carpet.

My mother sent me an email asking about my vacation in August. With everything else that is going on in my life right now I keep forgetting to schedule it. I also don't know what I will do about the dogs. Having a family member watch them for that long is out of the question. So is a kennel, which I would hate to do. And I checked that option out and the price tag would be over $700. Not going to happen. I told my mother this, hoping that she gets the point that I need to bring the dogs with me. Anyway, that's a long way off. Hell, with Billy's nomadic ways, he could be back in Jersey by August and looking for a place to stay.

I got a pages long survey in the mail from the census bureau that I am required to complete. Did anyone else get one of these? It pissed me off because the answers to all of the questions they asked in the survey they could have gotten from within the government. All of the information the census bureau asked for they could have gotten off my 2008 tax paperwork, from the DMV and the social security office. I think they just didn't want to pay someone to compile the information, so they pawned it off on the citizens. I know this trick. Our corporate office at work pulls this all the time- one department asking for data they already have at corporate and could get from a different department or even from within their own. Like I have nothing better to do. Shitty. Just shitty. Boo to the census bureau!

More later...

The Wednesday Report

2009-05-06T18:20:00.000-07:00

Yay for Hump Day! I'm glad we are getting near the end of the week. I hope the weather turns out to be nice. I want to get the bike out and ride.

It stopped raining today for a while so I was able to get my front lawn cut. I felt fatigued when I got up this morning, so cutting the grass felt like a real chore. It is raining again prettty hard right now. We are all going to get washed away soon.

I got an email message from the new old boss this evening, and he is wound up about our performance and so on here already. He will be like an over-tightened mainspring before he even gets here. I don't have any word yet on when that will be. He said in his email that he has slowed down a bit. I highly doubt it, especially from the tone of the rest of his message. Oh, boy.

I had canned ravioli and meatballs for dinner, plus a banana, and it is giving me heart burn. I'm sure it's not the banana doing it.

Well, next weekend is the big camping trip in the Pine Barrens. I'm excited about it but there is one wrench: Billy says he is leaving for Florida some time that weekend. I will have to make some arrangements with family members to get the dogs taken care of while I'm away. I'm sure it will be done begrudgingly, but it's not like I ask for anyone's help very often.

I hope that everyone has a nice rest of the evening.

Bella Award

2009-05-06T14:28:00.001-07:00

I just received a wonderful Bella Award from Xanadu (Thanks X!). Now I'm going to pass it on to a few blogs that are favorites that I know have not yet received one:

Jerzeyjeep @ Jerzeyjeep

King Of Pain @ That's My Soul Up There

Lizardo @ Your Mom's A Whore (Stories I'll Tell My Children)

Simon @ Simon's Ramblings

Antic @ Antic's 17 Syllables

Steve @ Lumberg's Going To Have My Come In On Saturday

Please pass it on, and lets keep the love going!

Productive Night- Shot To Hell

2009-05-05T20:08:00.000-07:00

The work was going slow tonight even though there is plenty of it. People just seem out of it, unmotivated. I think it's the weather.

Any way, long story short, our computer system went down an hour and a half ago and just came back up. We paid 55 people about $41.25 to stand around and do nothing for an hour and a half. That's $2,269 to you and me. The IT people at the help desk were so utterly useless. They could barely speak English. They did not know what a bar code scanner is, our hours of operation, our mainframe type, our operating system. Nothing. We told them right off the bat that this was severe and the name of the person to contact who could fix the problem. They never did it. We ended up calling that person ourselves and got the issue resolved in about five minutes time.

And to top it all off, I somehow lost my favorite pen in the deal. Grrr. I'm glad the night is almost over for me.

Everyone else have a nice evening...